I was approached by my editor, Garrett Cook, with a special assignment: "Write a piece of flash fiction[...] and read it as your pug rampages across some wargame scenery. Film this." I hadn't made a film since before I could drive, but having more than once considered exploiting the dog's cuteness for fame and profit on YouTube, I decided that this would be a splendid project. "All in all, it's maybe two hours work," continued Garrett, in what I would now call a laughably optimistic calculation (either that or he had something a little more "gonzo" in mind).
Considering that I had only Windows Movie Maker, a smartphone, and a headset at my disposal, I'd say the final product turned out significantly less shitty than one might have reasonably expected. Actually, it's amazing what you can produce with a little ingenuity and some cheap technology. The "wargame scenery" that Garrett references indicates that he thinks I'm a giant Warhammer 40k nerd. I mean, I WAS, but I certainly never had my own tabletop scenery. It would have been nice, though. So, I went with the next best thing: nipple-topped chess pieces from my Cow Chess Game.
Honestly, getting the pug to "rampage" through my little cardboard and cow udder prop was a greater challenge than anticipated. Dogs are never bashful about getting all up in your shit when it's least convenient, but if you've planned for it, somehow they've got better things to do. Below, you will find some unedited footage regarding this phenomenon.
There were THREE milkbone pieces in that city. What is her fucking problem? Anyway, making movies takes a lot of work, even when they're only 2 minutes long and purposefully crappy. But I loved the whole thing and you can bet I'll be making more.