by Pedro Proença
Do you like shopping for the ones you love? Do you think reality is just a mere product of your failed senses in an futile attempt to make sense of a chaotic and irreal existence? Well I got the perfect gift guide for you! With these simple suggestions (buy consume acquire stuff it into your mind hole buy dispose consume your own flesh purchase happiness yes you can buy happiness buy buy BUY!) you can make your friends and family happy, cure diseases and save the world!
Sony PCM-M10 Portable Linear PCM Voice Recorder
Wanting to write a book and not having arms is like wanting to scream and having no mouth, am I right?
Seriously, am I?
But with this handy little recorder you can release your inner thoughts and fears into the world, creating your very own masterpiece! Or at least a book about latex ants fighting a monster.
Mr. Postman Boy's Costume
72 Yellow Balloons
Who knows, maybe one of them comes to life and starts spewing philosophical crap.
WARNING: Don't trust anything a balloon tells you. They are all filthy, disgusting liars.
The Riemann Hypothesis: The Greatest Unsolved Problem in Mathematics, by Karl Sabbagh
Plus, the guy's name sounds like Sabbath, which is pretty cool.
Benjamin, by Pedro Proença
See? Every word in that last sentence begins with a T.
Buy this for everyone (except your dog, he or she won't like this book. But your cat might. Maybe not.)
BECOME ONE OF THE COOL KIDS, JUST BUY STUFF.
Happy Holidays, everybody!