Buying Happiness With Squirrels - A Surrealist's Gift Guide

by Pedro Proença

Do you like shopping for the ones you love? Do you think reality is just a mere product of your failed senses in an futile attempt to make sense of a chaotic and irreal existence? Well I got the perfect gift guide for you! With these simple suggestions (buy consume acquire stuff it into your mind hole buy dispose consume your own flesh purchase happiness yes you can buy happiness buy buy BUY!) you can make your friends and family happy, cure diseases and save the world!


Sony PCM-M10 Portable Linear PCM Voice Recorder

Wanting to write a book and not having arms is like wanting to scream and having no mouth, am I right?
Seriously, am I?
But with this handy little recorder you can release your inner thoughts and fears into the world, creating your very own masterpiece! Or at least a book about latex ants fighting a monster.












Mr. Postman Boy's Costume

To the child in your life (or the child within yourself), comes this really cute postman's costume. So you can teach a child how to murder innocent dogs, loved by their owners who invested time creating lasting bonds only to be stripped of them by a sadistic little brat in a devil's costume. Buy it now!















Chef

Best movie ever.




















72 Yellow Balloons

Who knows, maybe one of them comes to life and starts spewing philosophical crap.
WARNING: Don't trust anything a balloon tells you. They are all filthy, disgusting liars.















The Riemann Hypothesis: The Greatest Unsolved Problem in Mathematics, by Karl Sabbagh

Truste me, you'll need this. This is important. Read this, and buy this for EVERYONE.
Plus, the guy's name sounds like Sabbath, which is pretty cool.

















Benjamin, by Pedro Proença

Then there's this thing.
See? Every word in that last sentence begins with a T.
2SPOOKY4ME

Buy this for everyone (except your dog, he or she won't like this book. But your cat might. Maybe not.)















BECOME ONE OF THE COOL KIDS, JUST BUY STUFF.

Happy Holidays, everybody!