The Bizarro Holiday Guide for Those Trying to Escape Reality

Hey there, folks. I hope the holidays are treating you well and instead of steering your gigantic death machine toward a helpless civilization, you’re able to kick back with some booze and enjoy the company of your friends and family. However, if you or someone you know is working the skin from their hands under the tyranny of a vicious and uncaring god, then you might want to pick up some things this Christmas to help you or your enslaved loved ones experience a brief reprieve from the never ending workflow.

1. Santa Sangre - One of surrealist filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky’s later films, Santa Sangre tells the tale of Fenix, a young man trying to cope with the violent acts he witnessed as a child. Got the holiday blues? Think your life sucks this Christmas? Trust me. It doesn’t when compared to Fenix's. 

2. Perfect Union By Cody Goodfellow - One hell of a body horror novel that makes Cronenberg’s early work look like fucking Care Bears. If you haven’t already been indoctrinated into the Cult of Goodfellow then I feel bad for you. Get in here. Join us. We need you... 

3. Perturbator's Dangerous Days - What better way to get your blood pumping for a revolt than with 80s inspired synth-tunes like “Humans are Such Easy Prey” and “Satanic Rites” ?!

4. Ovipositor and Alien Mask - If movies, books, and tunes aren’t your thing then how ‘bout diving head first into that alien fetish you’ve been hiding all these years? Break the chains of that vanilla sex life this season and give into your extraterrestrial naughty side. 

5. Bitchin' Space Biker Shirt by SKINNER - Mother. Fucking. Space. Biker. Wear this and be the baddest guy or gal in the galaxy. 

 

6. King Space Void - Lastly, what better way to round out your surreal, science-fiction inspired sex gifts than with a copy of this here book. 

*Extra cool points if you snag a print of the cover art from that smooth talking paint-slinger Kai Martin's web store: http://www.kaimartinart.com/#/king-space-void/ 

MERRY CHRISTMAS! I LOVE YOU ALL!