Things I Learned at BizarroCon

by Lee Widener

BizarrCon is an annual writers conference/convention hosted by Eraserhead Press at the Edgefield Manor in Troutdale Oregon. The 2015 event was the eighth year, and the first time I attended. Following are some highlights of the convention for me, with some final thoughts at the end. I'm writing this several days after the con, so many things have already faded. Please don't be offended if I don't mention everything.

Pedro Proença is really tall. Really fucking tall. I'm 6' 2” and I have to crane my neck to look him in the eyes. He's also thoughtful, brave, gentle and full of wonder. He and Sarah Sindorf came all the way from Brazil to attend BizarroCon and Pedro took second place in the Showdown. Two of the most interesting conversations I had were with Pedro, and he inspired the germ of a new Bizarro book I'll write. This will go down in BizarroCon history as The Year of Pedro.

Pedro Proença is the author of New Bizarro Author Series book Benjamin

Two of my favorite moments came from author Laura Lee Bahr. Her reading at the Eraserhead Press Party was pitch perfect, and included her rendition of an old fashioned spiritual sing-along. She brought me to tears with her performance in a short film for her book “Haunt.” Sadness, loss, isolation and longing all poured from her eyes and pulled me in instantly.

Laura Lee Bahr is the author of Long Form Religious Porn. Long Form Religious Porn

The last four times I've seen Danger Slater perform, he's used an array of strange accouterments, so I'm naming him the World's First Bizarro Prop Comic. Danger won the Ultimate Bizarro Showdown with his unique brand of Bizarro comedy.

Danger Slater is the author of I Will Rot Without You

Christoph Paul really knows how to work a room. Watching him dressed in his guise as Mandy deSandra, stalking around the ballroom before the Wonderland Book Awards, making contacts, was an education in promotion. It was like Divine had been reincarnated. You're amazing, Christoph!

Christoph Paul is the author of  Slasher Camp for Nerd Dorks

So many great readings that turned me on to works I haven't had a chance to pick up yet. At Matthew Granberry's reading from Worm Job I nearly fell off my chair I was laughing so hard. Michael's book sold out so fast I didn't have a chance to buy it! Gabino Iglesias read from his new novel Zero Saints, and in just a few minutes he had me spellbound with the power of his words. Adam Millard brought the house down with his story of a man peeping on two ghosts fucking, and the description of the new sexual position “The Angry Pirate.” I wish I could have just stayed in the Ad House all weekend and listened to authors share their visions, but schedules did not permit such luxury.

Michael Granberry is the author of Wormjob

Gabino Iglesias is the author of Zero Saints  

Adam Millard is the author of Jurrasic Car Park 

I had a chomping great time at the NBAS reading block reading from my book Rock N Roll Head Case, while fellow NBAS author Michael LeSueur shoved bananas in my mouth. Thanks to Tiffany S. Candal I can share a bit of this with you!

CLICK TO WATCH VIDEO

Later in the evening, sitting on the back porch of the Ad House drinking some delicious Long Form Religious Porn Cider, Carlton Mellick III told me, “Ten years from now they'll remember that reading.” High praise from the father figure of the Bizarro community.

Finally getting to meet some people I've known for years on Facebook, such as Edmund Colell, Gabino Iglesias and David Barbee, or more recent acquaintances like Don Noble, Jim Agpalza, Alan M Clarke, my NBAS partners in crime Pedro, Anthony, Michael, and Christoph, and meet many, many new friends too numerous to mention.

The food. THE FOOD. That's enough said about that. If you were there, you know. If you weren't, I can't describe how good it was.

Bizarro films. Every single one was impressive in style, content and quality. Ranging from silly and satirical, to horrific, serious, philosophical, and many other moods, I was beyond impressed. I've attended many film festivals in my time and there's always a few clunkers, but not here. And really, isn't it worth it just to see Danger Slater locked up in a cage? Thanks to John Skipp for curating this selection.

All these things were wonderful, amazing treats, and I'll remember them always, but just as important were the more formal aspects- the workshops and panels. To the organizers of BizarroCon, I thank you. You've taught an old dog some new tricks. The most important lesson I learned can be summed up in this phrase: Bizarro is a community. What exactly does this mean? I'll make some points and then tie it all up together.

We're all creators of some kind- authors, artists, editors, publishers, musicians, filmmakers, whatever. We all want to sell our wares, but the cards are stacked against us. A figure that was presented during one panel was 7,000 new books are published every day. Did you get that? EVERY DAY. How in the world do you get someone to buy your book amidst this deluge of product?

Another statement made during the same panel was that because of this impenetrable wall of words readers don't buy books anymore. They buy AUTHORS. This makes sense to me. I can relate it to my taste in music. I don't buy songs. I buy artists. Once I find an artist I like, I stick with them. I like to go on their musical journey as they change and grow over the years. Though there are exceptions, of course, like Bobby Pickett and the Monster Mash, the chances are if you have a body of work a prospective reader can check out, you're more likely to attract that reader.

You need to stand out as somebody a reader wants to read. Hey- buy my book! Hey- BUY MY BOOK! PLEASE won't you buy my book? Somebody please buy my book. Somebody buy my fucking book. BUY MY FUCKING BOOK! NOW! We see these posts every day. Did you buy the book? Unless you knew the author already, probably not. How then, do you stand out? You need to be somebody people want to know. Well, that's nice- how do I do that? I'm going to fall back on the advice dating experts give. Look at the qualities you admire in people. For me it's generosity, intelligence, wit and being interested (yes, I meant interestED and not interestING). Develop those qualities you admire in others, in yourself.

If you work on the qualities you admire, people will be attracted to you. They'll be interested in your work. Be an expert in something. Yes, you ARE an expert in something. You have interests, don't you? If you didn't, you wouldn't be a writer. Share those interests with the world. I've always been interested in strange and offbeat music, so I run an internet radio station showcasing that music. I like weird art, so I go to art events. Share these interests on social media. Your favorite author just released a new book? Share that info. Review books you like. (Opinions differ on this. Some very knowledgeable people say writers should never review books. I don't agree. Writers NEED reviews, dammit! But I also only review books I like. I never post negative reviews.)

You need to be seen. Go to events. Introduce yourself. Talk to people. Are you shy and introverted? Get over it. I go to readings and concerts and I always try and talk to several people afterwards. Writers, musicians, and artists love to meet people who like their work.

This is all about building relationships. There are those hardliners who believe it's all about the work. The work should stand on its own, speak for itself. That's fine, if you want to be one of those writers who only sell books to their family and immediate friends. It's also about being genuine. Don't friend a hundred people on Facebook with only the intent of selling them your book. We've all met those types, haven't we? “Thank you for accepting my friend request. Here's a link to my latest book.” You delete those people immediately, don't you?

It sounds counter-intuitive but the best way to sell your book is to NOT sell your book. You're selling yourself. Be positive. Be interested AND interesting. Be interested in what others have to say, and what they are doing. Share your interests. Be engaged and engaging. Don't just click that like button- say something relevant as well. Not every time, but frequently. Respond to comments on your own posts. You see the pattern here? relationships are a two way street. You give and you get. Be generous. Give more than you get. Do it because you WANT to, not because you're expecting something in return.

Now, there are caveats and exceptions to everything I said above. If you live in a remote area, it's harder to get involved in things. You may need to create your own events. YES YOU CAN. The point is, you're creating a network around yourself, and your goals need to be long term. Your first book wasn't a best seller? If you work hard, your next one will do better. All this stuff takes time. Time away from your writing. There's no getting past that. But you want somebody to read your work, don't you? And all this time spent networking, building relationships and being a good citizen in your community will feed your psyche and make you a better writer. Way at the start of this article I mentioned talking to Pedro Proença at BizarroCon. If he and I hadn't been there together at that time I would never have gotten the idea I have for a new book.

I've thrown a lot of ideas out there. I hope it made some kind of sense. These are the things I learned at BizarroCon. At the opening ceremony Rose O'Keefe made the statement “I guarantee you 100% this will change your life.” The contrarian in me didn't want to believe her. Dammit, she was right. I learned a helluva lot in three days. Thank you Rose, and thank you Bizarro community.

If you have any comments or questions on anything I've said here, please post them below. I'll do my best to answer.

Where Are They Now? Interview with Eric Mays

by Madeleine Swann

MS: Tell me about your NBAS book (title, subject etc).

EM: My NBAS book was likely the least bizarro of the bunch in that first round.  Naked Metamorphosis was a retelling of Shakespeare's Hamlet.  However, it was a layered affair.  It was Hamlet retold by Franz Kafka, then that version retold by Burroughs, then slightly retold in the form of a book report by a grade school George W. Bush (though, in the short length, that was not as fleshed out, only implied).  I think mine was the longest too.  I had a helluva time editing it down.

MS: Did you just send it in and hope for the best or did you contact someone first?

EM: I did not send it in unsolicited, and I didn’t contact someone per se.  This was in the old days of the Eraserhead Press website.  I remember strolling onto the website and answering a fairly lengthy questionnaire just out of curiosity.  I was elated when I received an email from Rose (O'Keefe) discussing the New Bizarro Author Series.  I had been noodling around with this Shakespeare thing for a long while – probably off and on for six years or so – and pitched it to Kevin Donihe.  There was a little hesitation at first because most authors who rewrite something that has already been written is usually just an excuse to have familiar characters get together and do stupid shit.  But through the process it became something beautiful.

MS: How did you find the process of writing it? Did the weirdness just come naturally or was it a difficult experience?

EM: Oh, writing it was easy.  I’ve always found writing to come easy, when I’m focused and in the zone.  The editing was a real bitch of a process.  As for the weird...well, that’s always been a natural thing.  I’m hesitant to use the phrase "bizarro light," but that's the best way I can summarize it.  When I write, I write things that are funny and slightly off.  Weird takes all forms and "off" has always come naturally when it comes to the real world.

MS: What is your writing process? Do you prefer a quiet room, do you listen to music, do you go for a walk first?

EM: When I write I have to have background noise.  Typically this is in the form of a television playing in the background.  One thing that I used to do (and I say used to do because I’ve not been writing recently due to a string of medical issues and such) is make a soundtrack for the book that I’m writing.  I look at my outline and plug in music that fits that outline.  It’s helped me out a great deal and I’ve even got these mixes in a CD case that I still listen to for inspiration.

MS: Were you always interested in pushing the boundaries of ‘normality’ in your writing or was it a new thing at the time?

EM: I’ve always been drawn to weird.  My weird is definitely lighter than most other forms of bizarro.  My book “Karaoke Death Squad” was a retelling of Homer’s the Odyssey, where sirens invade karaoke bars in Baltimore.  It’s a book that’s got demon babies, and karaoke as warfare, and men getting pregnant.  So it’s a little weird and that was something I wrote quickly and very naturally.  “Naked Metamorphosis” was a bit different.  At first it was just a straight retelling of Hamlet, a comedy, where Hamlet didn't die and Horatio was the protagonist.  That wasn't straight bizarro, so I added the Kafka and Burroughs flourishes and it came out nicely.

MS: Who are your writing influences?

EM: Oh where to begin!  I've always been inspired by Christopher Moore, Terry Pratchett, and James Morrow. I also love and aspire to the comedic writing of Floridians Tim Dorsey and Carl Hiaasen. Personal preference in reading has come in the form of Stephen King, Brian Keene, Joe Lansdale, and Poppy Z. Brite – all of them made me want to write and be a writer.

MS: How did being published in the NBAS affect your career?

EM: Well, it was certainly a confidence booster.  I felt stronger in my craft and more confident in making a pitch.  Shortly after “Naked Metamorphosis” I published a story in the Copeland Valley Sampler (“Nyuck, Nyuck”, which is a western featuring evil versions of the Three Stooges) and made a pitch that became “Karaoke Death Squad”.  I don't think I would have had the confidence to do all that had it not been for Eraserhead and the NBAS.  I would like to get something else put out by them in the near future.

MS: Can you tell us about any upcoming work?

EM: Sadly, there is nothing on the horizon right now.  In 2012, shortly after Karaoke Death Squad, my health took a nasty turn for the worse.  It has been an uphill struggle trying to get well.  I've been hospitalized numerous times.  I'm not making excuses...or maybe I am.  Writing has sat on the back burner while I've gotten healthy.  I've kept an ongoing journal of notes and am now ready to spin a yarn once more.  Surely with the trips in and out of the hospital, I've got something weird and lovely to tell.

MS: What advice would you give someone wanting to send their work, particularly bizarro?

EM: If bizarro is what someone wants to write I advise a trip to BizarroCon.  It's a fun time, which is reason enough to go.  However, it's a time to workshop, hear and meet other writers, really learn what bizarro is and what presses are looking for.  If you want to write bizarro, that's the ticket to learning.  The best advice I can give to any writer is to write, write, write, and don't ever stop.  Not everything is going to be golden, but the more you do it, the more you find your voice.  I speak from experience here, the worst thing you can do is take a break from it.

MS: Have you done any public readings, and what important things have you learned?

EM: This is going to sound pompous, but I'm not sure I've learned anything from readings.  Reading – performing – has always come very easy to me.  I come from a long theater and improv background, and typically when I'm writing I'm doing voices and looking at rapid fire dialogue more than exposition (this may be poor writing, but it's me).  Reading is one of my favorite things in the world.

MS: How possible is it in your opinion to make a living from writing?

EM: I think it is a very attainable thing.  Some of it comes down to what your sense of "living" is.  What are you willing to sacrifice?  I look at writers like Carlton Mellick 3, Brian Keene, S. G. Browne, Jeff Burk, etc, etc...these are writers who are churning out quality books that I want to read and making a living doing it.  However – and this is the important part – they are writing nonstop, editing nonstop, sacrificing nonstop.  It's a process and you have to work at it.  Me personally, I'm not sure I can get back there (though, I'd like to...Eraserhead, are you hearing this?) due to a, nearly, 4 year lapse.  But anything is possible and it is perfectly attainable.

MS: What are people's reactions when you describe your work?

EM: I've been lucky.  When I'm talking about my writing, I'm not mentioning weird landscapes featuring flying dildos or wolves living in eye sockets.  Again, I hate to use the phrase "bizarro light," but my work falls more into the Christopher Moore arena.  I've been fortunate enough to have fans of Chris Moore, Neil Gaiman, S.G. Browne, and Christopher Buckley sort of gravitate to my work.

MS: Was writing bizarro a conscious decision, or was it something you were already doing?

EM: I think it was something I was already doing.  I'm not sure it had a name when I was writing it, but that's part of the adventure.

Where Are They Now? Interview with Patrick Wensink

by Karl Fischer

One evening at The Lovecraft (Portland's premier horror-themed bar and venue) Patrick Wensink gave a reading from his latest release, Broken Piano for President, a political satire of drunkenness, corporate espionage, and fast food. He read through the first chapter and I had to know what happened next, so I bought a copy that night. Sometime later, a cease and desist letter was issued by the Jack Daniels company because the book's cover looked just like one of their labels. The letter was posted online as "the world's nicest cease and desist letter ever" and the whole thing went viral. Patrick's book became a bestseller and now he's training ostriches to perform in an all-ostrich rendition of Oklahoma! Or something.

Patrick is a cool guy and he writes funny, scathing, ridiculous things. In addition to the bestseller, he's the author of Fake Fruit Factory, Black Hole Blues, and Everything Was Great Until it Sucked. And to think it all began with a lurid short story collection entitled Sex Dungeons for Sale.

KF: Your bestseller attracted attention from many different readers, including folks who seem pretty scathing of small presses, satire, and even the very concept of going viral. Are these just the sour grapes of people on the cultural sidelines?

PW: The internet is powered by sour grapes. If anything good ever happens to anyone, there's always going to be people who want to tear it down. It's the nature of this weird world we live in. I purposely never, EVER read comment sections on places where I wrote an article or was reviewed/interviewed. If someone directly emails me I will happily field their criticism, but the gang mentality of comment boards is poison. Don't fall for it! That's why I never post anything about my family online, there's probably someone out there who would say "Oh, big deal, your kid turned four? I turned four once and my birthday cake tasted better."

KF: What are you saying, Patrick, that my birthday cake wasn't any good? But moving on, how did you come to bizarro fiction and/or Eraserhead Press in the first place?

PW: I lived in Portland for about five years in the early/mid 2000s and I had heard about Eraserhead Press, but didn't have any material to show them at that time. A few years later, I was living in Louisville, KY and I finally reached out to them, ironically.

KF: And how did you get into the NBAS?

PW: I didn't know anyone at Eraserhead when I approached them. I simply did research and queried like I had done hundreds of times before. I had went through this process literally with hundreds of agents and presses who all said no. My work was usually too weird to be mainstream, but too mainstream for weird, artsy, avant garde presses. Eraserhead was a perfect blend of those two. I had sent Eraserhead an early draft of BROKEN PIANO FOR PRESIDENT at that point. Rose (I think it was Rose who wrote me back. I don't totally remember) said that book was interesting, but they wanted something shorter from first-time authors. Then she told me about the NBAS and put me in touch with Kevin Donihe, who was the NBAS editor at the time. I didn't have a 100 page book like they were wanting, so I slapped together a collection of short stories, called it SEX DUNGEON FOR SALE! and Kevin said he would publish it. I owe a lot to that walrus-loving weirdo.

KF: Love for Kevin Donihe is a common phenomenon. How were the writing and editing processes for that collection?

PW: The writing and editing were pretty painless from what I remember. Luckily, I had been a journalist for many years prior and had also written some pretty green novels, so I feel like I had a decently strong voice in place by then. Kevin had great suggestions on cleaning stories up, fleshing them out, etc. What I always loved was that his edits were suggestions that I could take or leave. After having done this for a few more years now and working with other editors, I would say that's always the mark of a good one. You can lead a writer to water, but you can't make them drink. Great editors make wonderful suggestions, but never force them upon the writer. Kevin did just that and the book turned out pretty decent, if I do say so myself.

KF: Tell me about the year you spent promoting the book. Any highlights? What do you wish you could have known ahead of time?

PW: The year I spent promoting my NBAS book has really directed the way I handle my entire career. It was a boot camp on how the book industry works and how freakin' difficult it is. I just read your excellent interview with David Barbee and I love his suggestion of working together. But David is the brilliant optimist that I can never be! Working together is great, but I learned that you also must bust your own ass and be your own advocate because while social media is comforting and nice, nobody is going to help you but you at the end of the day. By that, I mean that I learned that simply having a book did not entitle me to sales, or good readings, or reviews. I learned quickly that I am one of a bazillion other people with a book under my belt, so I had to work hard to turn that book into a cultural sore thumb that would stick out, even a little.

That meant cultivating relationships. I would say that is the most important part of the experience for me. Luckily, like I said, I had a journalism and public relations background, so I knew a little about how this world works. Nobody pays attention to you by simply saying "I wrote this and I think it's good". I learned that it is important to seek out people who review books or buy books and make genuine connections with them on a human level. It is long and laborious work, but it's the kind of grassroots stuff that builds a fan base and a foundation for the rest of your career.

I don't remember any of the highs from that year, honestly. I remember all the lows and have learned from them. I remember driving 3.5 hours to a coffee shop reading in Nashville and finding out they closed early without telling me. I remember saying, "Screw it," and doing a guerrilla reading on the sidewalk in front of the shop and selling more books than the previous time I had read there, actually. I remember all the mistakes and the heartbreak, because I learned not to make those mistakes and be tougher in the future. The NBAS program gave me that chance to learn and I still use those skills today.

KF: I'm exhausted just hearing about it. Looking back, how would you say the NBAS has affected your career?

PW: Okay, I just spent a bunch of space being Mr. Pessimistic, so I'll take this opportunity to let out my inner-David Barbee and be optimistic! My NBAS experience is 100% of the reason I have any career right now. Like I said, nobody wanted to take a chance on me before that. All the failures were good, because it made me stronger and helped me better understand the book business, but having someone put their faith in you, like Eraserhead did, was priceless. That confidence that says, "Yes, I am doing something right that someone cares about," is like a crawling across the Sahara on your stomach for days and finally finding a glass of lemonade.

True story: the first email I ever got where someone told me they loved the book was from Cameron Pierce, who was also just starting his career. I met him at that year's Bizarro Con and we hit it off. The next year, when my NBAS boot camp was over and Eraserhead graciously offered me a book contract, Cameron said he was starting Lazy Fascist Press and would I like to put out books with him? Cameron has been my biggest supporter pretty much my entire career and it wouldn't have happened without NBAS. I have put out three books on Lazy Fascist, including BROKEN PIANO FOR PRESIDENT, which was an Amazon bestseller and got featured in Forbes Magazine, New York Times, the New Yorker and NPR's Weekend Edition.

The skills I learned about promotion and hard work during my NBAS tenure carried over into my post-NBAS career because writing and publishing never gets easier. Even after all that surprising success I still have to fight for myself. I have a book agent now and even have a children's book coming out through HarperCollins in 2017, but I still bust my ass the same as I did when SEX DUNGEON FOR SALE came out.

If you know your punk rock history, I often compare book publishing to Henry Rollins' epic memoir GET IN THE VAN. Black Flag worked its way up the indie ladder to be the most important band in the country and still they had to sleep in a cold van and eat dog food when they ran out of money. That's because when you make art you have to fight hardest for yourself, because even when people love what you do, you have to put in insane hours and sweat to move ahead. My NBAS time was a lot like Rollins' GET IN THE VAN. I ate a lot of figurative dog food to keep making my art and getting the word out about it.

I am grateful to Eraserhead for putting out my first book, but I am most grateful that they expected me to work my ass off to get it in front of people. They are like a tough but fair parent! Publishing is really freaking heartbreaking. But rewarding if you stick with it.

KF: All this talk of hard work leads me to an important topic: burnout. It's a common problem in the arts and, a la your coffee shop story, not every opportunity is actually an opportunity. How do you temper working hard with working smart?

PW: I avoid burning out by juggling projects. I work passionately and hard on a book/article until it hurts to look at it again and then I put it in a drawer for a while and work on something fresh until that becomes painful, then I go back to the old work and see it with fresh eyes and start the process over again.

Always write something you are proud of. Don't try to write something to meet an audience or make someone else happy. Any time I have done that I have been embarrassed. Working hard on something you are proud of is the best definition of working smart in my book. That being said, don't be a jerk who won't take advice from editors. Just take the advice you think will make your work stronger.

KF: As an unconventional publishing model did you think the NBAS would reach it's seventh year and counting?

PW: Yes! I didn't consciously think about it back in year one, but it does not shock me. Just like everything Eraserhead does, NBAS is a very pragmatic publishing idea. There is a reason other indie presses go under all the time and Eraserhead goes forward. Rose is a passionate publisher, of course, but she has the business smarts to help Eraserhead, NBAS and all the other imprints remain self-sufficient.

KF: Any specific pieces of advice you'd want to pass along to the newest of the New Bizarro Authors?

PW: I will keep with my theme of being a killjoy today! This is my favorite piece of advice to give writers: "Congratulations, you just climbed this huge mountain. What a victory! But, oh damn, now you can see there's a bigger mountain behind that one." Meaning: You are always climbing uphill. Savor any victory you get, but don't stop moving because there's always more to do.

KF: Are you at least living your bliss, Patrick?

PW: I think you can gauge from my grouchy answers that I'm not a bliss-living kind of guy. Ha! I am very pleased with the way my writing career has progressed since my first book came out through the NBAS, but I have this constant fear that the bottom will fall out at any moment, so that keeps me motivated to keep working hard, the same as when SEX DUNGEON was freshly minted. I try to never lose that sense of hunger.

Where Are They Now? Interview with Tom Lucas

by Anthony Trevino 

My first interaction with Tom Lucas was through the Bizarro 101 course that Rose O’Keefe taught over at LitReactor last April, but it wasn’t until Bizarrocon 2014 that I had the chance to hang out with the guy in the real world. Tom’s a great dude with impeccable world-building skills, sense of humor that echoes Warren Ellis, and a strong love for storytelling. His work is like Douglas Adams and Issac Asimov if they had loved industrial metal and punk rock as much as they did science-fiction. He’s the author of the novel Leather to the Corinthians and the novella Pax Titanus and I was thrilled to chat with him for a while.

AT: First thing’s first. How’s your back doing?

TL: Thanks, man. It’s doing great. Getting surgery over the summer sucked major ass. Time caught up with me. Back in ’96 I fell off a roof. Kids, don’t fall off a roof.

AT: Wise words. How’d you discover Bizarro fiction and Eraserhead Press?

TL: The Interwebs. I had written and self-published my first book and I simply couldn’t categorize it. A friend of mine, suspense writer Sidney Williams, suggested I look into bizarro. I found bizarrocentral.com and went from there.

AT: We took the Bizarro 101 workshop together last year over at LitReactor where you were laying down some killer stuff. Was that your first try at writing bizarro or were you a seasoned vet by then?

TL: It was really my first attempt at bizarro. I’ve been a writer in various shapes and forms over the years, but mainly in the areas of journalism and copy writing. Fiction is something fairly recent, and bizarro even more so. However, I’d like to stay with bizarro. It’s so much fun to write.

AT: I hope you stick around, man. Pax Titanus was awesome and I’m looking forward to what you do next. Speaking of Pax, how did you get into the NBAS?

TL: Ah, you know already! But for the benefit of those who don’t – in April of 2014 the fabulous Rose O’Keefe held a bizarro writing workshop on LitReactor. I was there, as were you and a few other of the class of 2015 (looks like a great year for NBAS, by the way).

I knew that this was a great chance to get my work in front of a publisher as well as a bunch of fellow writers, so I wrote my ass off. I wanted to make a good impression and I did. At the end of the month, the class was invited to pitch to Eraserhead. I pitched three novellas, each based off of the stories I wrote in the workshop. Pax got over the wall and I immediately went to work. 

AT: How has your experience promoting the novella been?

TL: It’s work, man. It’s work. I put a lot of time in knocking on digital doors, doing conventions, podcasts, interviews, and special promotions. It was on my mind nearly every day. It’s not easy selling books. Rarely is there a sense of immediacy on the part of the reader and that’s completely understandable. I’m the same way. In the last year, there were at least 15 books released that are must-reads for me. At some point, I’ll actually get to read them.

Beyond the work, what was most rewarding for me – the new friends I have made by getting Pax out there. I have made friends that I suspect will be around for a lifetime, and that’s the true wealth of life. I am a rich man for it.

AT: What advice do you have for this year’s gang of new bizarro authors?

TL: You all have something that Scott and I didn’t have. Numbers. You have a solid group of writers, books, and based on what I am seeing online, a lot of enthusiasm. I am excited for the class of 2015, and perhaps just a bit envious!

Use the size of your group to your advantage. Cross-promote, interview each other, blog, network, but most of all, share your resources and opportunities with one another. This isn’t a competition. It isn’t about who sells more books. The NBAS is an annual literary gift to the world. It’s a celebration. The NBAS is a family, and a special one at that. Now there are what, 40 of us total?

AT: Yeah, that sounds about right.

TL: And with that, there is some responsibility. Be kind, cool, and professional whenever you are out there representing. Don’t get caught up in any personal bullshit, online wars—none of that. Steer clear of any drama. I’ve seen some shit online this year. People posting personal and damaging things…just ugliness. Don’t be one of those people. Don’t be an asshole. Take care of your personal shit behind the scenes if you absolutely have to.

I want you and all the other members of the new class to know that I have your back. I am here to support you in any way possible. My door is always open and I hope you all are crazy successful this year.

Lastly, find new readers outside of the scene and promote bizarro! This is going to be an amazing year. Embrace it.

AT: Thanks, man. I think I speak for all of us when I say your backing and support means a lot. That’s one of the things about the NBAS (and the bizarro community in general) that really stands out to me. There’s no every one for themselves mentality. We’re all doing what we can to help each other out. It’s a beautiful thing.

All right, just one last question before we're ejected out of the air lock: Got any more awesome non-fiction tales for the Ultimate Bizarro Showdown this year?

TL: I do. It’s called Navajo Death Race and it’s as dark as last year’s was funny. The Bizarro Showdown roster is filled with talented, capable performers. I do not think of myself as a performer. I can’t match them and it’s a competition. And, unless I’m just talking, I have a tendency to get nervous when I’m on stage. So last year, my strategy was simple—just talk, tell a story.

I got through it and they even created an award for me! The Creative Non-Fiction Award, which was a collapsing stage knife. A spectacular result. I never intended to be the “Non-Fiction” guy, but clearly when it comes to the Showdown, it’s where I need to be. I have no idea how many showdowns I will appear at, but if you see me there, count on it being a real, bizarro story from my life.

AT: That makes me so happy! I don’t have the stones to get up there yet, which now means I owe Michael Allen Rose a lot of booze, but I’ll get there someday.

Thank you so much for taking the time to do this!

TL: It was my pleasure. I appreciate the opportunity. You have a book out and for the next year, you will be given attention from many. So for your first move to be talking to an out-going NBAS author…very classy. A true gentleman you are. May your book delight a ton of readers and I hope it flies off the shelf.

AT: If it doesn’t then all these monkey paws were for naught.

TL: Wouldn’t it be great if we became a part of the next wave of Eraserhead Press flagship authors? How cool would that be? The coolest.

AT: That would be a level of face-melting awesomeness.

TL: The next fountain I see, I will flip it a silver dollar with a wish on our behalf.

Where Are They Now? Interview with David W. Barbee

by Karl Fischer

I first met David W. Barbee in the wee hours of Friday morning during the third annual Bizarrocon (my first attendance). Being a newly-minted 21-year-old in the midst of several dozen creative professionals, I did the only sensible thing and got so piss-stinking drunk at the previous night’s opening ceremonies that I threw up in a urinal and passed out at 10 o’clock sharp.

While wandering the misty grounds of the hotel and feeling sorry for myself, I chanced upon David and his wife, Sonya. They had also gone to bed at 10pm because they flew 3000 miles west from Georgia. We struck up a conversation, and before you knew it, a friendship was born. Since then, the Barbees have been some of my closest Bizarro chums, and I’ve looked up to David as an example of small press success. Known for his humorous, madcap writing style, often flavored with self-deprecating, Southern charm, he is the author of The Night’s Neon Fangs, Thunderpussy, and A Town Called Suckhole. But it all began with his NBAS novella, Carnageland.

KF: David, let’s start with something easy. How effing cute is your baby daughter? Seriously, isn't she just a little patootie?

DWB: The cuteness of my baby daughter is currently under review. I'm not authorized to say anything more, but I also can't hide the obvious. This is "planet killer" level cuteness we're dealing with. Bullets bounce off of it, steel melts, and mountains quake. This kid's adorableness could swallow the sun if we're not careful, so let's all start worshiping her as a living god in the hopes that she has humanity's best interests at heart. Patootie shall be her god-name, in fact.

KF: Since Carnageland was the beginning of your writing career, tell me how you discovered Eraserhead Press and bizarro fiction in general.

DWB: I discovered bizarro fiction by wandering around Amazon.com looking for books that couldn't be found by wandering around my local Barnes and Noble. All of their descriptions and covers were strikingly weird, even if they weren't my kind of weird. I bought a few to start with. I think they were Satan Burger, The Baby Jesus Butt Plug, and Suicide Girls in the Afterlife. I was hooked from there. I didn't know a lot about the contemporary literary world at the time, but I knew that bizarro was the most interesting thing going on.

KF: How did you get roped into the NBAS?

DWB: I heard about the NBAS through the old Bizarro Central forums, where I used to hang out. I was self-publishing a few things at the time, but really, I was just a fan at that point. I already had an idea for a story I was going to publish myself, so I pitched it for the NBAS. They liked it, but said I had to take my other self-published books out of print. I think I surprised them when I said I'd gladly do that just to get my foot in their door. I remember Rose or Carlton saying that, in their experience, self-published authors would have never done that. To me it was an easy choice and a step upward. A tiny alien book from EHP is better than two big clumsy novels where I was all on my own and kicking the written word in its groin.

KF: Given the current state of self-publishing (where self-published authors seem to have carved a bigger niche for themselves) do you think you would have made the same choice today?

DWB: I don't think I would have continued self-publishing even when that wave hit. For me, the right choice was to get with other weirdos who had the same goals and learn as much as possible from them. I mean, this isn't a team sport and in many ways an author is on his/her own, but I really like being part of the bizarro community. Seeing all these different writers doing their thing has been invaluable to my own growth and development. Handling the author business entirely alone (which was how I was doing it, at least) is great for megalomaniacs, but my ego was quickly bulldozed by all the stuff I didn't know. I'm now hitting my stride, and I owe it to the support of a strong community.

KF: How did the writing and editing of Carnageland go?

DWB: Holy crap. Writing the story wasn't so bad. I had it planned out because Carnageland was just the first leg of a trilogy featuring Invader 898. First he invades a fairy tale world where he learns to indulge in all the bad things he's always been told were forbidden. By the second part we'd get to see him as a junkie hopped up on sex and drugs, still managing to get away with it. In the third book he would've been found out and forced to try to escape ultimate punishment. We only told the first part because of the word limit. That's why Carnageland feels kind of short and rushed. During the editing process, Kevin Donihe basically whipped me pillar to post. We did six or seven proofreads, fixing up the prose and smoothing it out. That manuscript needed A LOT of work and Donihe really helped me realize that I needed to evaluate my writing and push myself harder, which I'm always trying to do now. I consider Kevin Donihe to be one of bizarro's best and I'm honored that he's still my editor, still telling me what he thinks about something I wrote. Basically I love that dude.

KF: Do you think you'll ever get the chance to tell the rest of Invader 898's story?

DWB: I think this is the first time I've spoken about it publicly, so I should definitely say that I'd be happy to finish that tale if someone wanted to publish it. The titles to the other parts are Snufftoons and Horrorgasm.

KF: Tell me about how your year went as far as promoting Carnageland and building an audience. What was the response like? What were some of your favorite moments? Did you have to eat a live possum in order to prove yourself?

DWB: No possums were harmed. I spared their lives so the gods would grant me luck. When Carnageland came out I was still a total novice at promoting. I tried sending a lot if review requests that came off really spammy. I worked with some other authors, making artwork or mini comics about 898. I did a ton of giveaways. That stuff was fun and I try to do it still. I sold a few copies of Carnageland at Free Comic Book Day at my local comic shop, including one to a young boy who might not have realized there was an alien penis on the cover. I'm kind of proud of that. I don't use that shop anymore, though. The owner's kind of a tool.

KF: Being the first wave of an untraditional publishing model, did you feel like an experiment? Or like history in the making?

DWB: I was an experiment all the way. Carlton Mellick poked me with a stick while I ran around corners trying to find the cheese. All I found was a pasty, sideburned hulk, waiting there with his stick. But I liked it. Maybe that makes me some kind of weird pervert but I think it also shows that bizarro is where I belong. I want to see us take over the world. So I'm a pervert with ambition, I guess.

KF: I won't name names, but I'd say you're in good company. What was the end result of your time as a lab rat for a small, up-and-coming press?

DWB: Well, it helped me work my way into the bizarro scene, where I've made a ton of friends and allies, which, along with achieving my dream of being an author, is pretty great. One little alien story led to the weird, epic things I'm writing now. Carnageland isn't my favorite, but it was pivotal to my career.

KF: Any advice you'd like to pass along to the newest of the new bizarro authors?

DWB: My advice is to work together! My group worked together, but only a little. Giving tips here and there. But I think more could be done, and on a far bigger scale than what we did. I think this blog idea of yours, and chronicling the NBAS, is a perfect example.

KF: How do you think the NBAS has evolved and where would you like to see it go?

DWB: I think the series has made gigantic leaps and strides with every year that passes. I always say that Carnageland is one of the weaker NBAS books in the whole catalog. And that's not to be self-deprecating. It's because so many great novellas came after. Some of them have been rereleased as standalone books by Eraserhead. I think it'd be cool as fuck if one day EHP released a collection of some of our favorite NBAS stories, like Bucket of Face and Gutmouth and a bunch of others.

KF: That would be cool as fuck. And tell me, David, are you living your bliss?

DWB: I assume that living my bliss would mean riding my bliss. My bliss is a tiger that can run on clouds. Which would be awesome if my bliss hadn't run away when I was a child. It would've been cool if he'd stayed. He had stripes that leaked blue ice cream.

KF: It's like the World of Warcraft, only you can taste it

DWB: I always figured WoW would taste like Chinese food.

KF: Let’s not kid ourselves. WoW would taste like Mountain Dew and Cool Ranch Doritos.