Showing posts with label Writer - Lee Widener. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writer - Lee Widener. Show all posts

Friday, June 3, 2016

Time for Another Book Giveaway!

by Lee Widener

I, Lee Widener, am giving away books again! It's another New Bizarro Author Series contest! This one is super easy. All you have to do is tell me what happens on page 50, of either the print or ebook version, of my New Bizarro Author Series book "Rock N Roll Head Case." This contest will run for one month, so that if you haven't read the book yet, you'll have plenty of time to do so.

What do you win? There are two prize packages!

PRIZE PACKAGE #1:

Original hand drawn Bizarro art from me! Behold the Slug of Madness!

Plus- choose one of the other excellent books from this year's New Bizarro Author series!
PRIZE PACKAGE #2!

Two cool comic books! Micronauts #23 and the Uncanny X-Men #152!




Plus your choice of any New Bizarro Author Series 2015 book!
LIST OF BOOKS HERE!











That's right! Two cool prize packages! Contest runs for one month. To enter, send me your asnswer via email ( neverendingwonder   AT  hotmail DOT  com) or message me on Facebook.


After one month I will randomly select two winners from all the entries. Happy reading and send me your answers!

Monday, May 23, 2016

Portraits of Bizarro #2: NBAS Editor Kevin Donihe

by Lee Widener

Today we're talking with a real legend in the Bizarro Fiction movement: Bizarro author and editor Kevin Donihe. Kevin wrote one of the very first books Eraserhead Press ever published, and he was the very first editor for the New Bizarro Author Series. His manic style of performance is as memorable as his writing. He is the author of SPACE WALRUS, MUSCLEBOUND MARIO, and many other Bizarro masterworks.

LW: How did you first discover and become interested in Bizarro Fiction?

KD: Prior to 1999, I tended to submit stories in the horror genre. Anything that could have been considered proto-Bizarro remained hidden away and unpublished because I felt there was no market for it. In fact, my first published novel was one that I'd stopped working on for a few years prior to my discovery of Eraserhead Press.

In the fall of '99, I was on a quest for submission guidelines and happened upon Eraserhead's website. Then, it published only a webzine and a chapbook series. But that didn't matter. They were accepting the weird, idiosyncratic stuff that I wanted to write, and this gave me real hope. It wasn’t until 2001 that the first six books—including my SHALL WE GATHER AT THE GARDEN?—were released. In 2005, what was once nameless became Bizarro.

LW: And then how did you move into becoming an editor for the NBAS?

KD: I was approached by Eraserhead Press for the position, and I accepted. Prior to this, I'd only written books for them, though I had edited the BARE BONE anthology series for Raw Dog Screaming Press. After 11 issues, BARE BONE was put to rest so work on the New Bizarro Author Series could begin.

LW: How many years did you edit the NBAS?

KD: I've edited for the NBAS since 2009, and I continue to do so. For the first few years, I was the sole editor. Now, others have come and gone--or stayed on--in the continuing effort to grow the series. It's not always easy. Some years, I find no submissions I want to accept. 2015 was one of those years. 2016, however, shall be different...

LW: How did your approach to the NBAS change over time?

KD: My approach has, more or less, remained consistent. I look for well-written and enjoyable manuscripts that are in line with the NBAS ethos. Then, I do all the things necessary to get those manuscripts ready for publication. Also, and though it's only tangentially related to your question, I'll make note of a positive personal side effect: My novella/novel-length work has, in my estimation, improved since I started to edit for the press. Spending so much time with other writers' manuscripts has helped me better locate errors and inconsistencies in my own.

 LW: How would you say the NBAS has changed over time?

KD: At heart, I'd say the NBAS hasn't changed very much. The point of the NBAS is now and has always been to open up Eraserhead Press to a greater number of writers and expand the boundaries of Bizarro Fiction. We want new blood, after all. With new blood comes greater variety, and with greater variety comes additional readers, who are always welcome. There is, however, one change I might note. In the past, the NBAS accepted only previously unpublished authors. Now, however, the author just needs to be new to Eraserhead Press

LW: Do you have any particular fond memories of working on the NBAS? Horror stories?

KD: Tons of them. Whenever I hold in my hands a NBAS book that I've edited, I have fond memories. In fact, I'm overjoyed that the author and I had the opportunity to work together and release a book in which we can both take pride. To be the recipient of that sort of joy is exactly why I do the things I do. Conversely, all editors have their horror stories. It might, however, be best to use your imagination in cases such as these...

LW: If someone wanted to submit to the NBAS what should they know? Do you look for pitches, or something that's near completion?

KD: Personally, I prefer well-written, character-driven work in which oddity feels natural to the story, not shoehorned into the narrative. At the same time, I realize a newer writer might require extra assistance. So, if an author has amazing ideas but certain issues with prose, then I will work with that author to correct these issues. If, however, an author's prose is solid, but his/her ideas could be more compelling, then I will work with that author to see if he/she can’t rethink certain elements.

As to the second question, it's always best for an author to send me a pitch first. Nothing too formal. Just clue me in on the manuscript's plot and subject matter. Also, I'm willing to hear about a project during any stage of production. Customarily, however, I tend to wait until a manuscript is complete to read it.

LW: In terms of the NBAS what is it you DON'T want to see?

KD: Not to say I'd never take submissions that rely on these subjects, but I see too many that involve zombies and Jesus, God and/or the Devil. Also, I receive too many submissions that are straight-up horror. Those would be more suitable for the Deadite Press imprint. Likewise, I don't want to see submissions that aren't even remotely bizarre. I assume these come from people who fail to read guidelines and send submissions blindly.

LW: Anything else you'd like to add?

KD: I'd just like to remind those who submit to remember that the author/editor relationship is just that...a relationship.

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Photo of Kevin Donihe performing at BizarroCon 2015 by Gabino Iglesias.

KEVIN DONIHE BOOKS ON AMAZON 

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Where Are They Now? Interview With Kevin Shamel

by Lee Widener

 This is a real treat. Today I'm talking with author Kevin Shamel. Kevin was part of the first New Bizarro Author Series crew, and also went on to become editor of the series, so we'll gain some insight into how the series began, and how it evolved in the first few years.


LW: Hi Kevin- To start off, how in the world did you find out about Bizarro fiction, and get involved with it? And how did you hook up with Eraserhead Press?

KS: I found bizarro in 2009 when I kept having stories rejected by traditional publishers for being “too weird”, unless they asked me to butcher them into something more palatable for the mainstream. I got tired of making my protagonists and their worlds normal, or fit into the accepted tropes for horror, science fiction, or urban fantasy. I looked online one day for “weird fiction magazines”, as I was of the assumption that writing short stories was the way into the publishing world (something the very approachable, friendly, and longtime hero of mine Christopher Moore set me straight on about the same time I found EHP, actually). I found Eraserhead’s website, read some Carlton Mellick III and knew these were my people.

I actually submitted the last survey they had on their site to determine if a writer was of like-mind and someone they might want to get to know. It was the last one because EHP was going through some changes right when I found them—they’d just come up with the idea for the NBAS, and started the first Bizarro Bunker. Then all sorts of weird “coincidences” happened.

Rose O’Keefe contacted me soon after and told me that one of their writers lived in the same city (Olympia, Washington) as me— Cameron Pierce. She suggested that I meet him. However, by the time we connected (just a day or two later), Cameron told me he was moving to Portland—like right then. BUT, he told me that he had a friend who lived in one of the black houses (it’s an Olympia thing) who was hosting a reading for him and a few other authors. Turned out that house was at the end of my block. You can read about it from Jeff Burk:

 SATANIC DENTISTS IN OLYMPIA!

 In fact, if you read that blog post, keeping in mind that I was the photographer and this was the FIRST time I’d ever met these people, you’ll know exactly why I had to work with them. I had no idea how lucky I was to 1-. See the second Meat Magick (and every other one after that!) 2- Witness Jeff’s Shatnerquake performance, and 3- See CARLTON FREAKIN’ MELLICK III perform in a room with only five or ten audience members—that’s something not a lot of people can say. Hell, the moment they piled out of their car with handfuls of burritos before the reading I knew this was my crew. By the time they’d finished dinner, I’d walked home and got my martini-fixins so we could really get to know each other. THEN they performed. I’d never seen anything like it, and I knew it was exactly my style. Also, I laughed until I hurt.
And that was that. I’d submitted writing samples and links to some of my published stuff and we knew we liked each other. Soon Rose sent me an email introducing me to my editor for their new idea, the New Bizarro Author Series, and we got to work.

LW:  That's quite a story! Who was that editor, and what was it like working with him/her?

KS: Kevin Donihe was my editor. It was weird and good to work with him. I had about 20,000 words written on a book and a couple others I’d started, which he’d read and liked, but about twenty-thousand words was about as big as he wanted an NBAS book to be. So I pitched him some ideas until we had one that we both liked and I went to work on it. Took about a week for the first draft, and then Kevin showed me how to expand the good parts. He’s got a tremendous grasp of language, and knew how to turn what I had into an actual book. It was great, really, all around. But such a new experience for me, and definitely enlightening. Carlton was in charge of the NBAS at that time, and I learned a lot from him about craft and later promotion. I remember the first NBAS series as a team effort from all the staff of Eraserhead Press, really. In that year, I learned more about publishing than I had in the ten that it took me to get to where I was.

LW: Tell us about your NBAS book, and what kind of interesting things you did to promote it.

KS: Rotten Little Animals was inspired by a cat fight in a rainstorm that my 12-year-old neighbor Audrey and I watched from my upstairs hall window. She called my attention to two cats doing some sort of Kung Fu across the street. I shit you not, one cat followed the other that leapt over a picket fence, when a wind-gust slammed him straight through the boards. The freakin’ cat didn’t miss a beat and continued fighting the other in the yard when a huge torrent of rain let-loose. The cats were illuminated in the yard as street lights popped on in response to the sudden darkening of the sky. They just kept going at each other. It was amazing. More amazing was Audrey’s observation. During the fight, a meat truck drove around the block three times. We were standing there, watching this insane thing happen and she said, “That meat truck is ruining the shot.” Immediately I had the idea for an animal film crew at work on a cat fight scene when that stupid meat truck ruined the shot by circling the block over and over—and that scene became the opening of the book.

I promoted the hell out of it. The Rotten Little Puppet Show was born after I spent 52 hours with the help of friends and family creating elaborate sock puppets for the characters in the story. During performances, I’d yell out the craziest scene from the book, making the audience be the puppeteers. Zombie-cat puppets were the favorites.
I took car-magnet stock-signs from an online printing company and turned them into free ads for me which I put all over the internet. I ran giveaway contests, had people make their own zombie-cat puppets, worked on gathering reviews and generally trying to figure out Amazon algorithms (which ended up catching the attention of German publisher Voodoo Press, who have since added quite a few American Bizarro books to their list, but who made my book the first NBAS book to be translated and published in another country which didn’t hurt promotion one bit), played on Goodreads, had a funny animal blog and did stuff on Facebook before it was stuff you can’t do on Facebook or you won’t have friends for long—but it was new, then. I worked my ass off on that book, because I had to sell 200 copies in a year (and that’s a lot harder than one would think). I managed to sell over 250. At that time, the prize was a contract with Eraserhead Press.



LW:  Did you work on any promotional projects with the other NBAS authors that year?

KS:  The first year of the NBAS is very different from the rest. We were totally pioneering stuff—trying things out to see if they worked. And we weren’t as close as subsequent years became. It wasn’t really something we did much, and none of us lived near each other. We tried a few things, but nothing that stands out as a real, working, group promotional effort. Most of us genuinely loved each other’s books, and we cross-promoted as much as we could. Of course, we all kind of considered each other competition, too. We weren’t just competing, but we didn’t know yet what a little family (and therefore FORCE) we could become if we threw-in together more than we did. Happily, the experience welded a bond between David Barbee and I that nothin’s gonna break. I saw that happen a lot in subsequent years between authors of the same series.

LW: How did you go from having an NBAS book to becoming the editor for the series?

KS: Well… Let’s just say some changes happened and I was looking to move to Portland. I had worked very closely with the EHP crew for a couple of years, spending a lot of time at conventions with them and doing performances. I’d done Bizarro Bootcamp, which I won’t really get into explaining other than to say that in the time I was with the crew, I learned how they worked up-close and fell in love with their style and ethics. If I had to work for someone, they were who I wanted to work for. Luckily, they’d hoped I’d ask.

Rose and Carlton took me on to learn editing and layout as well as begin the Bizarro Brigade. I spent a lot of time sitting between Rose and Jeff Burk editing manuscripts and learning from them how to work all the software involved in publishing. Once they thought I had a good grasp, I went to work as an editor for the series, along with Donihe, and was placed in charge of the NBAS authors—answering questions, cheerleading, teaching about promotional stuff, helping them organize things, keeping them up to date with sales figures, all the stuff that I’d been through in their shoes.

I was able to scout new talent and help those authors complete their first books—several times from concept to completion. It was a very fulfilling job. I’m happy to have played a part in so many writers starting out their careers. And heaps of them are doing amazing things today.

LW: You mentioned scouting authors and helping them get them in print. Who are some of the authors that came to your attention that you're glad you gave a shot?

KS: My list of "found 'ems" includes Vince Kramer, Gabino Iglesias, Constance Ann Fitzgerald, Shane Cartledge, Tiffany Scandal, Dan Vlasaty... I believe there are more. There are certainly other people I've published that had already been published in other venues (like Justin Grimbol, Tamara Romero, and Spike Marlowe), and really, Gabino was already writing quality articles for Eraserhead Press dot Com and was an established reviewer/professional freakin' journalist, so it's not like no one else thought he'd make a great bizarro author. I just approached him is all. In some cases I pursued these authors, other cases encouraged them to write books. I'm just happy to have given ALL my writers exposure, however much help I have been.

LW: You worked with Kevin Donihe as co-editors. Was that ever confusing- Kevin and Kevin?

KS: Kevin and I were referred to among staff and authors as, Donihe and Shamel. Sometimes The Kevins. Never Kevin Squared, and that would have been cool. Damnit.

LW: What did you learn from working as an editor for so many different writers?

KS: I learned how to be a better writer, that’s for certain. I learned how satisfying it is to see something in someone’s story that they haven’t yet, and to help them make it blossom. I thought I’d already learned the value of being succinct, but seeing its opposite reflected in others’ writing made me pay more attention to using fewer words—I was also a sort of acquisitions editor, receiving at least one query a day (usually more), many with attached novellas, I saw countless examples of not-great writing. I learned to write in different styles as well, however, having such a wide variety of authors and to appreciate the uniqueness in every writer’s voice. One of my favorite things was editing a scene or paragraph and matching the changes with the rest of the story—almost putting myself into the writer at the time he or she wrote it. Or just steering them toward the outcome that made the story even better than I could have thought. I learned that I have a lot of favorite authors. I think also, I learned how to be an editor. It’s not a job or working relationship, it’s a friendship. You have to really cherish the authors you take on. You have to respect each other, and work well together. I love all the people I worked with. ALL OF YOU!!!!

LW: From your experience as an editor what can you tell someone interested in writing Bizarro, about what NOT to do?

KS: Don’t jump in thinking you know what bizarro is without learning what makes the genre a genre. This is really the only solid, lasting advice I can give. But here’s some that might still apply: Don’t tell an editor that you’ve just written the first/best/only/greatest story about __________. Don’t get an editor’s name wrong—no Ms. or Mr. unless you know for certain, no Kalvin Dondalhees, Gareth Kochs or Dudes (especially to female editors and unless you’ve talked to that editor before or shared a joint in the least). No talking dicks. I know that last one is a joke by now, but it’s not a fucking joke. NO TALKING DICKS. Don’t assume that because your book has messed-up sex, a bunch of explosions and is as politically incorrect as possible, that it’s something for bizarro editors to slobber over. No vampires either, unless they’re better than Dargoth Van Gloomfang, which they can never be. (I’m actually not the one who can say so now, maybe vampires are fine with current editors, but not talking dicks, I know this will never be okay.) But if you don’t know the vampire I just referred to, your chances of getting bizarro right just got slimmer.

Misogyny is unacceptable in bizarro. Actually, any sort of limiting of people as individuals is. If you’re not making fun of it, calling it out as the horrible fucking thing that it is in the world, and saying how much it makes you want to puke, try somewhere else. Bizarro is an open movement—all-inclusive, unlimited, everyone-friendly. We don’t like people treating people (or animals) badly. Don’t try and sell stories about talking dicks, and don’t BE a talking dick—that’s some pretty standard, long-lasting advice.

LW: And what SHOULD they do?

KS: They should read bizarro. They should read it from its beginning to its current incarnation. They should know who the big authors are, and why they are the big authors. They should attend performances, readings, workshops and conventions with bizarros. They should meet the people they want to work with, if at all possible—which is at least possible through social media. They should know who they want to write for and why. They should become acquainted with the various presses, and what they publish. They should be aware of the press’s history, their standing in the publishing industry, their policies. They should read what people say about them as well as what they publish. Research and understand the market. Be polite.

And then submit a great book, idea, pitch, or story to an editor. Make it the best you can before you send it. Make it bizarro: Weird characters in weird worlds with weird problems or whatever story device with which you’re working—just keep it weird. Remember that short story collections aren’t that attractive as a first book, for readers or editors. Remember also that for every twenty brilliant ideas that no one has ever thought of before, only one or two will actually be original enough to pass as original, and they might not be anything an editor wants to spend time on. Just keep trying until you hit the right one.

Keep writing.

LW: What's been going on since you stopped editing for the NBAS? I know your life has been through some pretty major changes.

KS: That was three years ago now. I’ve been splitting time between the US and Australia—lately mostly Australia (where I live with my lovely Australian wife, Anna). I’m working on getting a visa that allows me to work here and come and go as I want, so I can split more equal time between the two places and see my kids more. It’s proven a bit of a task, but we’re working on it. I’ve been keeping busy with four stepkids, our new dog, battling in-laws, mourning dead spiders, spending time outside, working the now-harvested garden, getting this latest book of mine all prettied-up, and all the weird projects I’m working on. I’ve been producing things, but I’m not yet able to sell them anywhere, so I’m saving up my new lines of products for when I can hit craft fairs, launch websites, etc. I’m making zombie cat sock puppets. I’ve been playing fashion re-designer and have a line of hand-sewn clothing I’m calling, Punked Up Clothes. I taught myself lost-wax casting a couple of years ago, and I’ve been making fine silver jewelry using stones that were my dad’s or that I’ve found. And of course, I’m writing. Always writing.
LW: You have a new book coming out soon. Tell us about it.

KS: I’m very excited for this one. It’s called, Not Safe For Kids, coming out this month! It’s an illustrated children’s book for adults. It’s full of bad advice, wrong facts, and confirmation of childhood fears. I tell people it’s like if you left  your kids with your drunken brother who lives in your mom’s basement who you had to use as a babysitter in an extreme emergency when not a single soul, even that guy you sometimes see sitting by the dumpster talking to himself, could watch your precious little ones and he told them “the fuggin’ TROOF, more or less, damnit, are you gonna pay me for this or what, only two outta three are cryin’ or hurt”. Or as my son said, when he was eight, and I read it to him aloud, “Can you imagine if actual kids got a hold of it?”

LW: Your book's cover and interior art are by Jim Agpalsa. Tell us about working with Jim. What was your process like? Did you just give him the manuscript after it was completed, or was it more of an organic process?

KS: This book is by both of us.

I awoke at 4AM one day and starting writing. By 10:00 I had the text. I went out and had a smoke, and imagined the first little entry illustrated. I went back inside and emailed it to Jim, asking if he’d be interested in drawing it, and then if maybe he’d consider working with me on a whole book like it. He said he liked the idea. The next day he told me that he’d read the story to his young daughter and she asked if it was true. He said, “Yes.” I knew that we’d make a great team. (I already knew that, anyway. Jim’s illustrated some shit for me that hasn’t been published yet. He’s a great artist, and anyone is lucky to have him on their creative team. He’s also a really good person, and super cool.)

I sent him what I’d written and he turned it into GOLD. Seriously, without Jim’s illustrations, this would not be a book. With them, it’s magickally wicked. I think he and I make a fabulous team. He took my mean little entries and translated them into gorgeous illustrations. The cover is a colorized version of one of the interior illustrations that Jim reworked a bit. This is a truly beautiful book, and I’m seriously proud to have a hand in it.

I was allowed to go crazy with the interior design and layout of this book, and I had an amazing time pushing myself into new things with the coaxing of my publisher and final editor on this project, Rose O’Keefe (who also designed the cover). I hope people like it.

At any rate, this couldn’t have happened without Jim’s amazing art and us being in synch with each other. I’m hoping we can bring similar things into being in the future. Jim is a good friend, and a great pleasure to work with. Also, one hell of a fantastic artist—check him out all over the Bizarro world.

LW: This has been a blast, Kevin! Anything else you'd like to add?

KS: I’d like to thank you for thinking of me for this interview series, and for asking such great questions. I hope I didn’t go overboard in my answers. Best of luck to you, Lee, in your future publishing life. And to all of the NBAS authors. I know how tough it is. I also know you can do it.

CHECK OUT KEVIN'S BOOKS ON AMAZON!

OUR INTERVIEW WITH ARTIST JIM AGPALZA


Thursday, March 17, 2016

Portraits of Bizarro #1: Artist Jim Agpalza

by Lee Widener


This is the first in a series profiling prominent figures in the Bizarro community who are not authors. First up is Bizarro artist Jim Agpalza, who has done many book covers for Eraserhead Press, including two of this year's New Bizarro Author Series books; my own "Rock N Roll Head Case" and Chris Meekings' "Elephant Vice."


LW: Jim- Some of our readers might not be as familiar with you as they are with the writers in Bizarro. Can you give us a little info on your background- where you came from, art training, etc.?

JA: First of all, Hi Lee and readers! I come from a tiny sugar plantation town on the north shore of O'ahu, Hawaii. I was raised but never baptized as a Jehovahs Witness. I used to draw flip book cartoons of little stick figure people getting crushed by giant boulders or shot down by jets or spaceships or an explosion of lava from a volcano all on the pages of my JW bible or other JW publications. As for art training I'm mostly self-taught. When I did art in school my teachers just left me alone. I took a couple of art classes at the local community college when I moved to Portland, and again was pretty much left alone to my own devices.

LW: Has your work always been so deliciously twisted?

JA: Aww thanks. I'd like to think so, but I doubt it. There was a good chunk of my childhood drawing lowriders and dinosaurs and Superman and Garfield and other safe comic book stuff. My mom told me that the first drawing I did for her was of a man falling off a building. Comic books are actually the gateway to my twisted stuff. I'd always see hints of nipples on the costumes of the lady characters, and as a kid they'd always give me chubbeez in my undeez. I thought if I could make my own art- porn that I could masturbate to I'd be the envy of all of my male classmates. I then had to learn how to draw nipples. We didn't have the internet in the early 90's so I had to glean everything about the female anatomy from R rated movies and porno magazines, and once that door was opened I was pretty much a fat kid in a candy store screaming for DIABETEEZ FO MY UNDEEZ! From the porn I learned about the male anatomy and where things went. Soon kids at school were asking me to draw sexually explicit pictures to jerk off to. It took a while, but I eventually got bored with sex drawings. From there things got weird.

LW: Do you have a particular outlook or philosophy behind your artwork?

JA: I strive to make something that hasn't been seen before, and to make it look good as I possibly can. Which Bizarro has given me ten-fold.

LW: Do you have a particular medium you prefer to work in, or do you have a large bag of tricks?



JA: I started out with no.2 pencils and crayons to pen and ink to oils and acrylics. I'd have to say oils are my jam. I grew up on Bob Ross. It always blew my mind as a kid to see him scratch his pallet knife full of paint on the canvas and shwip shwip you've got a mountain. As a kid I watched this and knew this is what I have to do. I wanna go shwip shwip and make a giant vagina! For the book covers and illustrations I've been solely using digital.

LW:  When and how did you get into doing book and magazine illustration?

JA: One of my closest and oldest friends(Gaetano Evangelista) and I did an animated short for Tony Clifton where he murders a guy and diddles with his severed cock.

LW: WHOA! Hold on there! You just went from drawing pornographic cartoons for your friends to doing an animated film for Tony Clifton! Can you fill in the blanks a little bit??

JA: Yeah, years went by between drawing porn for friends and Tony Clifton. When I say I got bored drawing porn for friends it's because their ideas of porn were so boring and not Japanese enough. I mean they never wanted to add anything to it. It was always straight up porn, no tentacles or animals or something I deemed interesting. At 16-17 I felt drawing nudie pics needed something for it to pop, and at the time I just didn't know what or how. It took years of messing around and experimenting to get to where I wanted to be. I took up painting and got obsessed with color and technique, and all the masters and their works. I'd try to incorporate some of the ideas I'd seen from Bosch, Dali, Goya and Van Gogh. It's still an ongoing process. I'm still learning from them, but now I'm influenced by comic book artists too. The big two I try to steal from are Junji Ito and Robert Crumb. I could cum just from their cross hatching. Movies were a huge inspiration too. The biggest influence for me was Sergio Leone, Igmar Bergman, Fellini and Kurosawa. I was in my own world, developing my own style.


I painted a picture of Marilyn Monroe whose face was half melted, helping a goofy Jesus off the cross with the help from a tiny Hitler holding up my Darwin fish(a fish with legs, the front legs has hooves and the back legs has hands for feet and a monkeys tail) which was suckling on Jesus's teats. I have to say this painting gave me months of giggles. A friend of mine was getting married, and wanted a painting from me as a wedding gift. After some reluctance I finally did one. It was of my Darwin fish and a half man with a Hummingbird head and a dead astronaut holding up a Japanese flag. A mutual friend saw the painting and became obsessed with turning it into a cartoon. And there my friends, is the birth of Spacefish. After some convincing, we started work on it. I painted all the characters, and my partner started on background collages. We had like seven minutes worth before we kind of gave up. At that time my partner started to work the lighting at Tony Clifton shows. Wha???? Yeah, he's badass. He somehow convinced Tony to let us animate a segment of the show where Tony went off on a story during one of the songs. I think you can find that video on YouTube I think it's called "Tony Kills A Man". I'm not sure, but I think Tony still uses it in his live shows. It's fucking awesome.


 With the money from that, we got interested in doing a full length episode of something we had both been working on earlier which turned out to be Spacefish. We had done some clips of it (pre-Clifton) where all the characters had been hand painted in oils by me, which took a really fucking long time, then the animation alone and the computer rendering shit took forever. I had done the Clifton stuff entirely in primsicolor which was faster but murder on my hand and wrist. So when we got a producer and some funding to do Spacefish proper we got a bunch of cool equipment like an office in the pearl district downtown. We got other artists and writers and computers....and (cough cough) other stuff. I got a Wacom to do all the characters digitally which sped things up nicely. The writers turned out to be the power couple Cameron and Kirsten Pierce who Simon Ore our producer is a huge fan of and of the bizarro genre all together. I worked at the office when I could, and I got to witness these geniuses work on their craft. There were all these cool looking books lying all over the place in the office and I begged Cameron to let me do a book cover. I always wanted to do a book cover, and Cameron and Eraserhead finally relented. From there I've been involved ever since.

LW: What was the first cover you did for Eraserhead Press, and how many covers would you say you've done for them?

JA: The first cover I did was Unicorn Battle Squad by Kirsten Alene. I think I've done around twelve more or less including the one I did for various imprints of Eraserhead.


LW: I know for my book, "Rock N Roll Head Case" you didn't read the book before you did the cover, yet you captured the spirit and essence of the book perfectly. What's the process like, creating a cover for a book you haven't read? How much guidance do you get?

JA: Sometimes it's pretty easy. The writer or editor will send me a description of what they want, and I'll try to come up with something that's as close as I can get to in the description. Sometimes it's a grueling back and forth where I end up yelling at my wife and kids, and punching the couch cushions. And tons of crying in the fetal position in the shower as blood from my ass flows into the drain. Most of the time it's pretty easy and fun! Rock N Roll Head Case was fun to do because I got to draw Alice Coopers head! His face alone was such a joy to draw with the backdrop of the cosmos and psychedelic colors and Andre the freaking Giant. I was sold.

LW: Do you have a preference for one type of output over another? Do you really like doing animation, or book covers, or commissions, or the freedom of just letting your imagination run wild?

JA: I like doing it all. Like everyone else, I feel like my balls tighten up nicely when doing my own stuff. I'm also a level 3 guitar and bass player.

LW:  Do you have an online gallery or website where people can see more of your work?

JA: Yes, I have a blog where I haven't updated in a while at JIMAGPALZA.COM .
I also have a redbubble where you can get my stuff on things and shit.
Jim Agpalza on Redbubble


LW: Jim, this has been FANTASTIC chatting with you! I love your artwork, and I hope everyone else will find it as compelling as I do. This is truly Bizarro in spirit and form. Let's finish this profile with one more image. Thank you!




Monday, February 29, 2016

ANNOUNCING THE ROCK N ROLL HEAD CASE CONTEST - WITH REAL PRIZES!

by Lee Widener


I'm so pleased and excited people are reading and enjoying my New Bizarro Author Series novella "Rock N Roll Head Case," that I'm holding a contest to reward two of the lucky readers with prize packages worth over $30 each!

How do I know readers are enjoying the book? Here are some quotes from reviews!

"Bizarro at its finest. It gives readers a giant dose of crazy with a nice side of odd, while also pumping with true heart and a beautifully woven message."

 "James and the Giant Peach--if it was directed by Quentin Tarantino while on an ether binge."

" It's a story of failure and redemption, of violence and peace, of the truth behind the facade of this dimension we live in. It's the story of Alice Cooper's f***ing head!"

" a whip-snap rollercoaster ride stretching to epic proportions"

Sounds pretty cool, doesn't it? I think so! That's why I want to give stuff away to people who took the chance on reading a book by a relatively new face on the Bizarro scene. I love you readers that much!

"Oh, but I haven't read Rock N Roll Head Case yet, but I still want to win a prize!"

Don't worry dear readers! There is plenty of time to enter. Order the book now, read it and try for the prize.

ORDER ROCK N ROLL HEAD CASE HERE!

Tell me about the prizes!

PRIZE PACKAGES

Each of the winners will get ONE of these pieces of original cartoon art by Rock N Roll Head Case author Lee Widener!

     The Magic Bubbleman Shows What He's Good For
OR

At the Mountains of Weirdness
(These are not prints, but actual hand drawn works of cartoon art. Each picture is 5" X 7"  hand drawn and colored on sturdy 200 lb. paper and signed by Lee Widener)
PLUS- each of the winners will get one of these:
A brand new, unopened copy of The Slow Poisoner's latest release "Slithering Skull" on cassette tape! Contains six previously unreleased songs, including "Midnight Earwig Buffet" and "Voices Green and Purple."
OR
i
Image Comics Freak Force #2 (1994)
PLUS a copy of fanzine MANTRA #6 (1985) that is so rare I can't even find a picture of it online. Contains art/stories by fan artists Steve Keeter and Larry Blake)

PLUS:

ONE OF THE OTHER NEW BIZARRO AUTHOR SERIES BOOKS 2016!
You choose which book you want!

 That's right- you win another NBAS book, PLUS a piece of original cartoon art, PLUS either a Slow Poisoner cassette or comic book and fanzine.

Okay, that sounds incredibly awesome! How do I win??

I'm glad you asked that, because this is the coolest part. You just have to answer one question. You see, I wrote an Easter egg into Rock N Roll Head Case, and you just have to figure it out. Clue:

The Easter egg is the name of someone VERY WELL KNOWN in the Bizarro community, but I didn't just stick the name in the book. No, the name is Spoonerized and then turned into a phrase.

What the hell does that mean?
A Spoonerism is when you switch the first letters of a couple of words around. For example:
RED BOOK would become BED ROOK
SILLY BOY would become BILLY SOY

Get it? But I didn't just Spoonerize the name, I also turned it into a phrase that sounds just like the Spoonerized name. For instance:

If I Spoonerized the name Christoph Paul, it would become Pistoph Chraul.
And if I turned Pistoph Chraul into a soundalike phrase it would become: PISSED OFF CRAWL.

Get it? Just to be clear: the answer is NOT Christoph Paul.

SO: Read Rock N Roll Head Case. Find the phrase that is a soundalike version of a Spoonerized name of SOMEBODY VERY WELL KNOWN IN THE BIZARRO COMMUNITY.

Who can enter: ANYBODY! I haven't even told the person whose name I used!

HOW DO I ENTER?
DO NOT post your name here, or anywhere on Facebook, or Goodreads, or anywhere!
Either message me on Facebook or Goodreads, or send me an email with the subject CONTEST to neverendingwonder@hotmail.com

First two correct answers win!
Sounds easy- right? HA- no, sounds HARD! That's right- but fun! I know a lot of you love puzzles and mysteries, so get reading and see if you can solve this one!

GOOD LUCK!

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Too Cool Not to Share

by Lee Widener

We've been making a lot of noise on this blog about the second phase of having a book published: promotion. It requires even more hard work, time, and effort than writing the book. It takes hours and hours of research and outreach, finding review sites, making contacts with people, pleading for Amazon reviews, angling for interviews, on and on. Just like searching for a publisher and submitting work, there's a lot of rejection.

So, the other day when I came home and found something wonderful in my Facebook feed, I couldn't stop smiling. This was something that came out of the blue, something I hadn't asked for, didn't have any part of, and that made it even more rewarding.

A bookstore in Mableton, Georgia had put a quote from my book "Rock N Roll Head Case" up on their marquee. We writers like to talk a lot about how lonely writing is, and it's true. But here was proof positive my work had touched someone enough that they wanted to share it with the world. A big, big thanks to the Book House. You've made it all worthwhile.



The Book House Facebook Page

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Where Are They Now? Interview With S.T. Cartledge

by Lee Widener

Shane Cartledge is another writer that I first became aware of from working on The Bizarro Zombie Anthology That Wouldn't Die. His story of a zombie choo-choo train was one of the most original concepts in the book, and is indicative of his uniquely weird outlook. Here's a bunch of stuff I asked Shane, and a bunch of stuff he said in reply.



LW: How in the world did you get started writing?

SC: I've always been creatively inclined in one form or another. I grew up learning classical guitar and piano. I reached a limit there with the skills I could learn versus the practice and dedication to the art. Then I started playing around with music production using some very basic programs. That was where I started connecting with people online, and when my interest in making music waned I turned to writing. At that point I had just discovered H.P. Lovecraft and Palahniuk and a few other writers with a lust for violence and madness. That fed back into my own writing.

LW: Was it always weird shit?

SC: I don't think it was always weird. Before Bizarro I went through a lot of phases before I found my voice. After my terrible imitating Lovecraft phase and imitating Palahniuk I kind of got into steampunk. I read a small selection of steampunk books and tried writing one for my first NaNoWriMo. I was fascinated by cyberpunk and all the different offshoots of steampunk, and shortly after, I started reading manga and watching anime, and shortly after that, it was Bizarro.

LW: When did it turn weird, and why?

SC: A writing friend of mine came across Carlton Mellick's short story 'Candy Coated' online on Vice. She shared it with me knowing that I loved weird stories. I read it, loved it, found a few Bizarro titles that I liked, looked up a ton more, and I instantly knew that it was crazy weird and crazy fun. The first two books I bought were Satan Burger and Lost in Cat Brain Land. I read those in a day each and I scrambled back online for more. The more I read, the more I shared on Facebook. Some of the Bizarro authors I'd been reading connected with me on Facebook, and then I thought maybe there was a future in this for me.

LW: And how did this lead to your NBAS book?

SC: I started reading the NBAS from the second year. I read the details online and spoke briefly with Kevin Donihe about it. I had been working on a couple of stories and I had done a couple of online workshops to get more involved. I was doing a workshop with Garrett Cook which included a thorough description of the sort of process that Kevin Shamel was looking to go through to recruit new authors. Specifically, he wasn't after finished books, but high concept pitches which could turn into popular books. House Hunter was one of a whole bunch of ideas which made the cut. A lot of the first draft of House Hunter came together during that workshop.

LW: You mention taking a couple of workshops online. Who else did you take a class from in addition to Garrett? What are some of the things you learned in the workshops that you think helped you as a writer?

SC: I've taken three online workshops all up. One with Jeremy C Shipp, one with Garrett, and one was with Garrett and Bradley Sands. I think the biggest thing you can learn from a workshop is that you need to put the time and effort into writing if you want your writing to go somewhere. I feel like there's no big secrets to being a writer, there's just learning processes. Exercises help to motivate, and having mentors reading and commenting on your work is good preparation for what you need to do to make your writing stand out, and gives you some preparation for what it'll be like when it comes time to working with an editor. Writing is a solitary act, but when you take your manuscript to a potential publisher, it's good to have some support already, and knowing that finishing the manuscript is only the first step in a process that requires a lot of hard work.

LW: So tell us about your NBAS book House Hunter, and what it was like writing it.

SC: I feel like other bizarro authors probably get this a lot, but when House Hunter came out, I'd tell people it was a story set in a world where houses are living people, and one of the first things they'd ask in response was 'where do you come up with that?' or 'what made you think of that?' To me, these ideas may grow subconsciously from real things, but on a conscious level, they're born in a vacuum. I had the idea of setting an Alice in Wonderland inspired (and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind inspired) action adventure story in that world and it came together and I sent it to Shamel. Then came the edits. And I realised how much work there was left to go. At the time I was finishing up my degree and starting my honours thesis, and I think that pressure drove me crazy but I think it was necessary to get the story over the line. Day of the Milkman was a dream compared to that.

LW: Kevin Shamel was your editor?

SC: There were six NBAS authors and Kevin Shamel had five of us. Kevin Donihe had Gary. Shamel was great to work with, very supportive, great to talk to. He understood it all because he'd been through it.

LW: You mentioned that Kevin Shamel wasn't looking for manuscripts, but instead was looking for pitches that could be developed. What was that process like- moving from pitch to finished manuscript?

SC: You need to pitch the right thing to the right people or they won't care. It's important to think of your idea as a product, as a finished book, how it would stack up in the current book market. If you can't do that, it'll be a struggle to sell your book. But then you can find that pitch at any point when writing a manuscript, so really, each to their own, I guess. I think it is a process which helps focus your writing and gives you a clearer target in mind. I've had a lot of pitches floating around for a while now, and sometimes I take a few of them and blend them together, borrow ideas from one story to another. I don't get hung up on making this idea work if it's not coming together, and if it might fit better in a different scenario.

LW: What effect has having a book in the NBAS had on your life?

SC: It's opened the doorway to so many wonderful opportunities. I've met some fantastic people, shared some fantastic moments. Bought and read some amazing books. Got some free books from friends. Learned so much about writing and publishing. The NBAS feels like a faint glimmer of what your true potential can be. It's just there waiting for you to realise that the only difference between you and that other person is the amount of effort you put in. It's given me the permission to be ambitious, even if I fail one day, there's so many opportunities just waiting for people to take them.

LW: You live in Australia, but you came all the way to Portland for BizarroCon that year. That takes a lot of commitment.

SC: Connections and inspiration are the main things I took away from BizarroCon. I'd have to say knowledge was another big thing. There are so many crazy smart people there who got to where they are because they really knew their shit. I was a shy young author at the time, so I feel like I didn't make the most of the opportunities I had to really get to know people and form those stronger bonds, but years down the track, those bonds have become stronger and the insight and information I've gained have been a trickle-down effect. I'm constantly learning things, and it's brilliant. I just try to tiptoe carefully through the small press landscape, hoping I don't commit some tragic faux pas which will lead to my immediate career suicide.

LW: Did living in Australia present any special challenges either in the creation of your NBAS book or the promotion? Do you feel at all cut off from the Bizarro community, and if so, what have you done to counteract that?

SC: In the creation of the book, no. Promotion, yes. Do I feel cut off from the Bizarro community? Absolutely. I won't lie. It's rough. I met all these amazing people, and I've never seen them since. Some of them I talk to all the time. And I've made a lot of new friends since then. You talk to all sorts of different people online, you get a feel for who you click with. I tend to focus on that. Nurturing relationships with the right people. There's a lot of people I'd love to know better, and I probably would know better if I lived locally. And I'm still trying to figure out this promotion thing. That's the hardest thing I feel, not just about the NBAS, but about being a writer in this moment. It takes a lot of hard work. And not only that, but you need to be intuitive, to see the literary landscape for what it is and know how to tackle it so that you reach your readers. I'm always trying to write new books and trying to keep momentum going, build professional and personal relationships, keep my mind off missing the face-to-face contact I had at BizarroCon, and build a local presence. The hardest thing I've found is getting out into the real world and connecting with people in my home town. I'm getting there though.

LW: I have followed your efforts to promote your work at large book fairs in Australia with great interest. How did those events go for you, and do you have any ideas for other authors who might want to try similar events?

SC: I've done one major convention, a book launch, and a large toy/hobby fair. The convention and the fair were tough. The convention went pretty well due to the sheer number of people, but I feel like I'm yet to really harness the rabid nature of that demographic and pull them into buying bizarro books. I've been thinking about it a lot recently, how it feels less like some guy chasing his publishing dream and more about pushing my particular brand of fiction as a business. I think that will be the fuel that lights my fire going forward. Definitely the best event of the bunch was the book launch. I pulled in the right crowd, and sold more in one evening than I did in two full days in front of thousands of nerds, or than I do in many months of online sales. I think going forward, my advice would be to consider yourself as a brand, know your product and how to sell it. Keep it simple, and if there's not enough cool stuff on your table, find out what you need to bring people in and get it.

LW: What about life post-NBAS? What else have you published, what's on the horizon?

SC: I've published another novella through Bizarro Pulp Press, Day of the Milkman, which was received quite well. I recently self-published a poetry collection, Beautiful Madness, which has been doing awesome for me. I also had a novelette in the Strange Edge anthology, the Four Gentlemen of the Apocalypse. On the horizon I've got two manuscripts with two publishers at the moment. One is a trilogy of narrative poems and the other is a project I've been working on for the past 2-3 years. I usually struggle to define it, but it'll be my next novella/novel, and I once described it as 'a sprawling sci-fi/fantasy prose poem sort of thing, set in a giant enclosed city, following a gang of cyborgs and children as they fight lizard monsters and cosmic gods.' I think that's the best summary I've come up with to date. It's gonna be epic. I've also got a bunch of other projects and ideas floating somewhere in the pipeline, and I've got plans and hopes for working with a bunch of different publishers over the coming years, and I'm currently trying to start my own publishing endeavour, but I'm keeping that pretty quiet for the moment, until I'm ready to make that move in the (hopefully) near future.

LW: What about music? Is that still a part of your life? I took lessons briefly from my sister, who was a piano teacher, and I'm still sorry I didn't keep up with it.

SC: I don't play much any more, but I occasionally collaborate with musicians and I'll probably do a few projects in the future which will find their way online. If I can get my own piano some time in the next few years I'll probably pick back up on my music as a hobby. I think that'd be a good thing to be able to step away from the work of writing and the day job and the other life-things which have been taking up so much time of my life this year, which I know will continue well into the years to come. Life is busy, but life is good. A piano would be a good way to soothe the mind and break away from that hectic buzz.

LW: And now for the question I've been waiting to ask. It's certainly the most important topic, more important than than all this boring writing stuff. Have you ever been attacked by a dust bunny, and if so, how did you defeat it?

SC: Are dust bunnies real? I haven't been attacked by a dust bunny. Drop bears though... I was nine and camping when one fell on my tent. I had to fend it off with my emergency spoon. I think he regrets it though. He sent me a friend request on Facebook the other day. I haven't responded yet.

LW: Really? Dust bunny attacks in the USA are reaching epidemic proportions. Perhaps we should all move to Australia. Those drop bears sound terrifying though. Thanks very much for your time, Shane!

Monday, December 28, 2015

Where Are They Now? Interview With Daniel Vlasaty

by Lee Widener


I first became aware of NBAS author Daniel Vlasaty when I worked on the under-appreciated “The Bizarro Zombie Anthology That Wouldn't Die,” which also featured work from NBAS authors Dustin Reade, S.T. Cartledge, Kirk Jones, Gabino Iglesias, and myself. His tale of alien space zombies attacking a rocket ship was terrifying. His NBAS book “The Church of TV as God” with its legion of TV headed addicts is an equally terrifying work of social commentary. I recently caught up with Daniel in a secret dungeon deep beneath Santa's workshop in the North Pole.

LW: Thanks for taking the time to talk with me, Daniel. First off, how the hell did you get involved in Bizarro fiction?

DV: The first time I ever even heard of Bizarro Fiction was when I just happened to stumble across issue 6 of Bust Down the Doors and Eat all the Chickens (from Bizarro author and former NBAS editor Bradley Sands) at Quimby’s in Chicago. It was the cover that got me. All the eyeballs and the big ass chicken head. After that I started noticing all these weird ass books coming up on my Amazon recommendations. Carlton Mellick and Jeremy Robert Johnson. Those were the first two authors I bought. It was The Cannibals of Candyland and Angel Dust Apocalypse. And then I just got more involved through like Facebook and the internet and shit. I was still in college and my writing usually tended toward the weird so it seemed like I’d found my place.

LW: How did you end up writing a book for the NBAS?

DV: I had a bunch of short stories published in online magazines or whatever. Usually they were just flash pieces. Never over 2,000 words. And I wanted to try to write something longer. I was in one of Garrett Cook’s writing workshops and I had talked to Kevin Shamel about submitting something.

LW: Who was the editor that year?

DV: Spike Marlowe was the editor of THE CHURCH OF TV AS GOD.

LW: What was it like working with her?

DV: Spike’s awesome and working with her was great. I feel like she really got the bones of the book and helped to make it the best it could be. She was patient with me and listened to all of my anxious freak outs over individual sentences and she helped me figure that shit out. She’s a great editor. And I also hear that she may or may not be a superhero.

LW: Tell us about The Church of TV as God, your NBAS book. What was your process like, writing it?

DV: THE CHURCH OF TV AS GOD is about a dude with a TV for a head and the TV-worshipping cult that believes him to be the one to bring about the second coming of their god, The Great TV in the Sky. I started writing it as an experiment, really. I remember reading somewhere online that Carlton Mellick and Kevin Shamel and Cameron Pierce had written some of their books during marathons. And I wanted to try that. My goal was 20,000 words in 10 days. I ended up finishing the first draft of TV in 3 days. I had an office type of job at the time and I just ignored my actual duties to write the book. So in a way I was paid to write THE CHURCH OF TV AS GOD, which is kind of cool.

But then something totally shitty happened. On the very same day that I finished the first draft of my book I lost the USB flash drive thing with it saved on it. It was the only copy of the book and I hadn’t had a chance to save it anywhere else or back it up or whatever. I had to rewrite the whole thing from scratch. It kind of sucked. But I still hope to someday find that flash drive thing. I’d love to compare the two and see how the book might have turned out.

LW: Do you see people's obsession with television as dangerous?

DV: It’s funny because when I was writing THE CHURCH OF TV AS GOD I wasn’t even thinking about the obsession to TV. I was writing it more as a commentary about religion. But personally I think most TV shows are stupid and a waste of time. I have some that I like and I’ll catch them on Netflix or whatever. But for the most part I don’t have much time for TV.

LW: You mentioned taking one of Garrett's workshops. Did you find taking a workshop helped your writing, and if it did, in what ways?

DV: I know that it helped my writing. I don’t really know how but I know it did. Maybe it just showed me that there were other people, new to bizarro like me, trying to do what I was doing. I don’t know. Not long before I signed up for his workshop, I had just come off of a spell where I didn’t write a single word for like two fucking years. I was fresh out of college and I think it was a combination of disillusionment from four years of very literary-leaning writing workshops and a massively growing drug addiction. I liked Garrett’s workshop because it was just about writing. And reading the other writers’ work and giving them suggestions. There was no pretentiousness to it.

When I was in my college writing classes everyone wanted to write the next great American novel or some shit. But the problem with that was we were all like 19 and didn’t know shit about life. So we just made it up or copied Kurt Vonnegut of Chuck Palahniuk or whatever. In Garrett’s workshop we all just wanted to write weird shit and have fun. It was less academic and forced.

LW: What effect has having a book published in the NBAS series had on your life?

DV: It made me realize that there is more to being a writer than just writing. It made me realize that once the book is finished it’s only the beginning. It made me realize that I don’t know shit about promoting a book.

LW: What have you been up to since the NBAS? Any projects published since then? Anything you're working on now?

DV: Since THE CHURCH OF TV AS GOD came out I’ve had a handful of short stories and poems published, in print and online. My second book AMPHETAMINE PSYCHOSIS was published by Black Dharma Press (an imprint of Dynatox Ministries). My next book is set to come out in 2016 through All Due Respect Books. It’s called ONLY BONES. It’s a crime story set in Chicago about a bike messenger who starts working for his drug dealer to pay off a debt.

Other than that I’m working two other books – their working titles are TOO MANY DEAD MEN and NEXT ONE LAST. Also a possible sequel to ONLY BONES called NEVER CLEAN. And two comic scripts. OFFICER SEXY MAN is an ultra-violent Bizarro story that I am writing with my friend Mike Zdanowicz. And PURPLE DONKEY about a dead stripper, a crooked cop, and a sleazy strip club owner.

LW: Wow! You're really keeping busy. Which bothers you more, avocados or Chicago, and why?

DV: It’s a tough one, but I’d have to say Chicago bothers me more. Because I’ve never been robbed by an avocado.

LW: What advice would you give someone interested in writing Bizarro Fiction?

DV: I don’t like giving writing advice…because who the fuck am I? But if I had to give one piece of advice, it would be: Just go nuts. Whatever. Don’t fucking worry about anything but the story. Be crazy. Get crazy.

LW: Would you be happy living in a world made of ice cream?

DV: No I would not be happy living in a world made of ice cream. For a few reasons really. I am not a huge fan of dairy. It would be cold, and the cold sucks. And also I feel like everyone would be pretty fat. Fatter than they are now.

LW: If beards were outlawed tomorrow would you start a revolution?

DV: Yes I would. Viva La Beard!

LW: If you could live inside a book or movie, which one would it be, and why?

DV: I just finished reading this graphic novel called Blacksad. Maybe I’m just choosing it because I literally just glanced over at my bookshelf and it was the first thing I saw. Or maybe I’m choosing it because it’s a gritty as fuck story about a P.I. that also happens to be a black cat. This is a world full of anthropomorphic animals. And murder. And race relations. And violence. And sexy sex. Also it’s drawn by a former Disney animator. So it’s super pretty.

At this point Santa burst into the room and using a large whip tried to force us to cook dinner for him, so we both fled screaming. Thank you so much for talking to me, Daniel! It was super fun!

Thanks to Ross Lockhart for the photo of Daniel reading from The Church of TV as God, while dressed as a TV, at BizarroCon.

The Church of TV as God 

Sunday, December 6, 2015

The Ultimate Bizarro Holiday Shopping Guide for the Head of the Household

by Lee Widener

What is the “head of the household?” Traditionally defined as the breadwinner in the family, today's families are often not configured in the traditional manner. The head of the household may be female, male, a cat, a bowl of spaghetti, or there may not even be what could be termed a head of the household. But what if the head of the household is, well, a head? I've got you covered. If the head of your household is an actual head, here is the Ultimate Bizarro Gift Guide for your favorite head.



  1. The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant / The Thing with Two Heads (Midnite Movies Double Feature) DVD SET
Are two heads better than one? Not if this two headed pair of movies are to be believed. Both films are simply awash with star power. The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant stars none other than Bruce Dern, featured in several Western films, Silent Running, King of Marvin Gardens and many other movies. He transplants the head of a maniacal killer onto his half-witted son's body and is surprised when things don't go well. Also starring Pat Priest (the second Marilyn Munster) and American Top 40 DJ/voice actor Casey Kasem.
The Thing With Two Heads stars Ray Milland, who many may remember as the star of B-movie masterpiece X – The Man With X-Ray Eyes, and Rosey Grier, ex-football player making a bid for a second career as a pop singer and actor. The fun here stems from the fact the doctor is a racist and he gets the head of a black man sewn onto his body. The fireworks are spectacular, and so are the special effects. In many shots it's painfully obvious Grier is simply standing behind Milland and resting his head on his shoulder.

The Incredible Two-Headed Transplant / The Thing with Two Heads (Midnite Movies Double Feature) 

  1. Manster DVD

In this Japanese/American co-production a second head grows on the body of an experimental test subject. Special effects here are really top notch and the scenes of the incipient new head growing and developing are truly creepy.

Manster DVD 


  1. The Brain That Wouldn't Die [Blu-ray]
In this meditation on misogyny a doctor keeps his fiance's head alive in a tray. She isn't too crazy about this and complains loudly... and endlessly. In a climactic moment when he can stand her constant insults no longer, he tapes her mouth shut! Don't get any ideas of trying this on your own beloved disembodied head however, because she can communicate telepathically, and enlists the help of the mutant in the cage next door, to ensure things end badly for everyone. No use giving your head any ideas.

The Brain That Wouldn't Die [Blu-ray]

  1. Eraserhead (The Criterion Collection)
No collection of head related gifts would be complete without mentioning the most famous head movie of all, Eraserhead. This surrealistic nightmare meditation on the horrors of domesticity gets the ultimate treatment in the Criterion Collection which includes six short films by David Lynch and a making of documentary by Lynch. If your favorite head ever gets too big for its own head, show it this movie.

Eraserhead (The Criterion Collection) 

  1. Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia
This film is a bona fide masterpiece, propelled by Warren Oates' intense performance and Sam Peckinpah's explosive direction. All Oates' character has to do to get a million dollars is deliver the head of the titular character to a Mexican land baron. Raw, savage, and a thing of beauty.

Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia 

  1. The Monkees – Head
The Monkees don't get no respect. Bristling at their reputation as a fake Hollywood recreation of the Beatles they decided the best way to beat that rap was by making a film with Bob Rafelson, best known as the writer of several Jack Nicholson movies. The film is a psychedelic mashup of music and sketches with cameo appearances by Frank Zappa, Dennis Hopper, Annette Funicello, Toni Basil, Victor Mature and many others. Perfect film to make your head's head spin.

The Monkees - Head 

  1. Human Head Shaped Handbag.
Need a way to take your head out in public? Perhaps this handbag shaped like a head will suffice... or maybe not. Well, at least it's stylish!

Human Head Shaped Handbag 

  1. Loftus Shrunken Head 4.5" Decoration Prop Black
Does your disembodied head need companionship when you can't be around? This genuine reproduction of a shrunken head is the perfect companion. Get several- your head is REALLY lonely.

Loftus Shrunken Head 4.5" Decoration Prop Black 

  1. Rock N Roll Head Case by Lee Widener
When Chaino Durante finds the head of a rock and roll icon growing on the end of his arm, he never imagined it would lead to changing not only his outlook on life, but actually change the entire world. The only novella to feature the severed head of a rock star as a main character, your own head is sure to be inspired by this story. Available as a paperback and for Kindle.

Rock N Roll Head Case 

There you have it, friends. The Ultimate Bizarro Holiday Gift Guide for the Head of your Household. Any of the items in this list will make your beloved head love you even more. Happy shopping!