Where Are They Now? Interview with Justin Grimbol

by Pedro Proença


I had the honor and the privilege to interview one of my favorite writers, and all-around beautiful human being Justin Grimbol.

Pedro: Hey Justin! In advance, thank you for the interview! When and how did you get involved with Bizarro Fiction, and the New Bizarro Author Series?

Justin: I got into Mellick first. The Haunted Vagina was my first Bizarro read. Then I read everything Mellick. I would bring his books to work. This was really awkward because of the titles. But I'm a risk taker, a rebel, a go-getter, a Adrenalin junky, so I brought them in anyway. Then I heard about Bizarro Central. I wrote a little blog piece about bringing Mellick to work. People liked it. Kevin Shamel contacted me and asked me to write a book for the NBAS. My first attempt was called THE MINIVAN. It was about a man stuck in an evil Minivan. But it was rejected. It was getting close to deadline. But Kevin wanted to give me another chance. I sent him a bunch of pitches. He had me combine the ideas he liked, then send him an outline. Then I wrote the book in a couple days. Binge writing was fucking blast. I got all sweaty and crazed and excited about life. And tired. It also made me tired. I edited the fucker for a day or so. Then I sent it to Kevin. He told me he wanted to publish it. We worked on it for a couple weeks. He emailed me and told me he wanted more monster fights. I sent him some more scenes with monster fights. Then he said he wanted even more monster fights. So I sent him even more monster fights. Kevin was fun to work with. After the book was all jacked up on monster fights, I flew out to Bizarro Con. I partied hard. Talked about books and danced and didn't shower much. After that I felt thoroughly bonded to the scene.

Pedro: That's incredible! I read some of Carlton's books on the train, and attracted some amused looks myself.
Every story I hear about the NBAS rush reminds me of our class'. We had a really tight schedule, it was nine of us, from three different continents, and we made it work.
What do you think is coming for Bizarro? Do you think it will ever be mainstream? Can you see in your head a Crud Masters movie?

Justin: I think there are Bizarro authors I think will become really popular and maybe even legendary. I don't know about main stream.
I think Pacific Rim is a lot like The Crud Masters. My book had more raunchy sex though. So its better. Also, here's a little secret. My buddy Pete, was trying to get his cartoon Uncle Grandpa picked up by Cartoon Network around the time I wrote the book. But they didn't like it at first. So I asked him if I could put his character in my book. He said I could. So I did. Eventually cartoon network did pick up the series. I doubt they realize that my own version of Uncle Grandpa is in The Crud Masters. Wait, what was I trying to say? Oh yeah. Uncle Grandpa is better than Pacific Rim. Uncle Grandpa is in my book. I also cry a lot. Also, I like to take pictures of trees. Also, my dog as a silky forehead. Also, when I am feeling really sad I watch Star Trek Fan Films and that really fucks with my head. This all has something to do with something else and that's something.

Pedro: I also cry a lot. I cried reading each one of your books, actually. Something about a sensitive fat guy who loves butts really touched me. In the butt.
Seriously, your books triggered reactions in me that maybe no others did.
Which movies/books made you cry when you were first exposed to them?

Justin: Oh I'm a big time sap. I can't watch a Rocky Balboa Training montage on Youtube without sobbing. My favorite movie is Terms of Endearment. That fucking thing will make me weep. Carlton Mellicks Teeth And Tongue Landscape made me cry. The end of Stephen Kings IT made me cry. Jim Harrison just died and that made me cry. Lots of Larry McMurtrys books make me cry. Holy shit, Diary Of a Part Time Indian by Sherman Alexie made me weep forever. Sam Shepard Plays make me weep. There were scenes in Cry Father by Whitmer that made me weepy. The list goes on and on.

Pedro: If someone walks up to you and gently ask you for writing advice, what do you say?

Justin: Read a bunch. Write a bunch. Use adverbs sometimes. Its no big deal. Use the word  VERY and JUST sometimes. Its fun.
Don't follow the writing rules. Walk a lot.
Don't try and be profound.
Have fun and remember its work.
Let me touch your butt.
I would say all that. Then I would touch their butt. Then they would understand.

Pedro: I look forward to having my butt touched by you, Justin.
Thank you very much for this interview :)))

Justin: No problem my NBAS homey. Stay Golden.

Where Are They Now? Interview with G. Arthur Brown

by Pedro Proença

P: Let's start with the most basic question: Who is G. Arthur Brown?

G: Good question. I've never met him. He cannot be biographied for reasons unknown to literary science. 

P: How did you discover Bizarro Fiction?

G: I had been submitting a lot of my short fiction to sci-fi, fantasy, horror markets and they were all like, "No thanks." So I started checking into weird lit genres, like Slipstream and New Weird, and pretty quickly came across Bizarro fiction. I picked up the Bizarro Starter Kit Orange and the rest, as old people say, is history. 

P: What are your favorite Bizarro books? And non-Bizarro books?

G: For Bizarro, Haunt by Laura Lee Bahr, Edie & the Low-Hung Hands by Brian Allen Carr, Tales from the Vinegar Wasteland by Ray Fracalossy, How to Avoid Sex by Matthew Revert, Shall We Gather at the Garden? by Kevin L. Donihe, Lost in Catbrain Land by Cameron Pierce, Zerostrata by Andersen Prunty, Stranger on the Loose by D. Harlan Wilson, Clown Tear Junkies by Douglas Hackle, Death Machines of Death by Vince Kramer, and Janitor of Planet Anilingus by Andrew Wayne Adams.

Outside of Bizarro, The Wavering Knife and Last Days by Brian Evenson, Magic for Beginners by Kelly Link, The Dead Father and Sixty Stories by Donald Barthelme, Et Tu, Babe? by Mark Leyner, The Invention of Morel by Adolfo Bioy Casares, Perfume by Patrick Suskind, The Wasp Factory by Iain Banks, Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll, The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes, City of Saints and Madmen by Jeff VanderMeer, and American Gods by Neil Gaiman.  Gaiman really got me back into writing seriously. 

P: How did you get involved with the New Bizarro Author Series?

G: There were not many Bizarro markets open to unsolicited manuscripts at the time. I ran across the NBAS page when checking out Eraserhead Press and I contacted Kevin L. Donihe, who was the only listed editor at the time. I'd read a few of his books already and I thought, "Heck, my writing might just be up his alley." Luckily, he liked Kitten. And the rest, as old people say, is history. 

P: How was the process of writing Kitten?

G: Kitten evolved from a short story, to a longer short story, to a novelette, and then finally a novella. The original short story had a sort of cop-out meta ending. My pal, cover artist, and beta-reader encouraged me to actually "give it an ending." That all became Part I. The entire second half of the book was written more than a year later, after contemplating the fact that the titular Kitten's story didn't really get to be told yet. 

P: Kitten was a major influence to my NBAS book, along with Brian Auspice's Deep Blue. Do you get that a lot? Do you feel like you've influenced people in the genre?

G: Thanks, and no, I wouldn't say I get that a lot. It's very pleasing to hear a lot of people who influenced me or that I admire liked my debut book, though. And it's very cool to know that I'm having an impact on people like you. 

P: How was the promotion process? What were your strategies to sell your book?

G: Really it was just word of mouth. I made friends with cool people who helped me get the word out. Making friends with book store employees and librarians helped. I tried to do a contest but that didn't work, because it actually required people to do stuff, and as we all know, there's nothing people like less than having to do stuff to win prizes. I'm pretty sure the title sold it because everyone on the internet likes cats so much. 

P: Did you work with your fellow NBAS that year? Was there lots of communication between you guys, or was it mostly a lone wolf kind of thing?

G: There was a brief online "feud" between Andrew Wayne Adams and myself. It fizzled out quickly because Andy is just not a very angry guy. Or maybe he holds his rage in, like a cauldron of hatred. Hard to tell. We all also reviewed each others books. We attempted to write some scripts for a cartoon series that featured us all as characters. The NBAS class of 2012 was known as the Bionic Six (guess how many of us there were?), which was taken from an old 80s cartoon., so we were doing a spoof of that show. The concept was to post these scripts on Bizarro Central to get some attention for the NBAS. It proved really hard to coordinate working together on the scripts, though, with Tamara Romero in Spain and S.T. Cartledge in Australia, so we only managed to finish one episode, which J.W. Wargo gave away as a prize at the Bizarro Con breakfast raffle in 2013. 

P: This year's class is the Suicide Squad! Nice to see that the whole group nickname is something that has been done before.

G: Yes, each year has a nickname. The Fantastic Four, The Crazy Eight, The Seven Samurai, etc. Not sure what the three from last year went by.  The Three Stooges? Heh. 

P: What's your advice for this year's New Bizarro Authors?

G: Make friends. Create a strong brand. The audience is reading you, the author, not just your book. They will become your fan only if they trust your overall brand. 

P: Seeing so many author drama on social media, with people arguing and feuding over petty stuff, this is truly great advice.

G: Yeah, don't too hung up on your ego. But also don't lose yourself. 

P: If a crab has sex with a wireless telephone, is the resulting crabophone baby functional in the terms of long distance communication? And is it inappropriate to use it as such?

G: This reminds me of the time that Eugene Ionesco came to my apartment and cooked me lobster. We did not communicate for long, because it was a "foodie call," and certainly there was long distances involved. My couch is only about 15 feet from the stove.  Save these sorts of science puzzles for someone like Brian Auspice. 

P: Ionesco has also coooked me lobster! That whore.

G: And then I died because of my shellfish allergy.

Buying Happiness With Squirrels - A Surrealist's Gift Guide

by Pedro Proença

Do you like shopping for the ones you love? Do you think reality is just a mere product of your failed senses in an futile attempt to make sense of a chaotic and irreal existence? Well I got the perfect gift guide for you! With these simple suggestions (buy consume acquire stuff it into your mind hole buy dispose consume your own flesh purchase happiness yes you can buy happiness buy buy BUY!) you can make your friends and family happy, cure diseases and save the world!


Sony PCM-M10 Portable Linear PCM Voice Recorder

Wanting to write a book and not having arms is like wanting to scream and having no mouth, am I right?
Seriously, am I?
But with this handy little recorder you can release your inner thoughts and fears into the world, creating your very own masterpiece! Or at least a book about latex ants fighting a monster.












Mr. Postman Boy's Costume

To the child in your life (or the child within yourself), comes this really cute postman's costume. So you can teach a child how to murder innocent dogs, loved by their owners who invested time creating lasting bonds only to be stripped of them by a sadistic little brat in a devil's costume. Buy it now!















Chef

Best movie ever.




















72 Yellow Balloons

Who knows, maybe one of them comes to life and starts spewing philosophical crap.
WARNING: Don't trust anything a balloon tells you. They are all filthy, disgusting liars.















The Riemann Hypothesis: The Greatest Unsolved Problem in Mathematics, by Karl Sabbagh

Truste me, you'll need this. This is important. Read this, and buy this for EVERYONE.
Plus, the guy's name sounds like Sabbath, which is pretty cool.

















Benjamin, by Pedro Proença

Then there's this thing.
See? Every word in that last sentence begins with a T.
2SPOOKY4ME

Buy this for everyone (except your dog, he or she won't like this book. But your cat might. Maybe not.)















BECOME ONE OF THE COOL KIDS, JUST BUY STUFF.

Happy Holidays, everybody!

Benjamin: A Review

Benjamin – Pedro Proenca

I was always going to love this book. I love existential crises adventure books – ask Garrett, he knows. So, it was with baited breath and an open heart that I sat down with this book. And Pedro delivered – oh, boy did he deliver.

Benjamin is a balloon who, along with his headless teenaged side-kick, witness green men loot the bookshop he is being held, sort of, hostage in by Karen (a woman who thinks Benjamin is her long dead husband), and that's just the opened salvo in this wonderful adventure. Soon, Benjamin is called on by the Janitor to undertake a quest for the very soul of the mall, against the unknowable Monster.

I find existential books to be about the most fundamental things which make us human. And what could be more human than a sentient balloon and his headless best friend? Well, practically anything, but in Pedro's capable hands it works. Existential quest books are a search for meaning. Who are we? Why are we? What are we supposed to be doing? What the hell is “good”? Or, as Pedro puts it, shouldn't there be more than this?

It owes a little nod to A Lightbulb's Lament by Grant Wamack, but that doesn't lessen anything Pedro has done here. And remember folks, he's done all this in a second language.

From it's benign beginnings at the front of the mall, to its cataclysmic climax beyond the realms of reality the whole thing was everything I hoped it would be when I stymied up my hard earned cash to buy it. I can honestly say, I enjoyed every minute of it.

Pedro, bem feito. Ele foi delicioso, bonito e surpreedente!

(I hope I got that last bit right)

Benjamin-Pedro-Proenca

Chris Meekings